Happy Birthdays, Year 2

[Badstench]

MOD EDIT:
This is the second of Badstench Birthday threads. Link for the first one (http://srythforum.com/showthread.php?t=160)


If you thought you’d got rid of me… ‘Not so!’ I’ve reappeared in a different guise to bring you a new format of weird, wonderful (and often useless) bits of information. Most of the tidbits presented will be taken from the newspaper I habitually buy every morning on my way to work. These will include items reported from newspapers around the world. As such, the items might be ‘old-hat’ to readers who live in the countries involved… I am merely repeating the items on the date they appear in the New Zealand Herald.

These posts might not appear every day… sometimes I don’t buy a paper. Sometimes there’s nothing funny or interesting to write about that doesn’t include multiple pages of information. And sometimes, I might be suffering from a case of the ‘I-don’t-cares’.

However, I will endeavour to appear on those days that forum members are celebrating their birthdays, just to throw your special day into perspective alongside something ridiculous.

You’ve been warned.

P.S – The snippets of information are not intended to over-shadow the birthdays of the forum members; they are for general interest only. If you really feel the need to add a comment or observation, please keep such things short and to the point…. This is not a discussion thread.

Now, you may be wondering why I've started a whole new thread for wishing people Happy Birthday. The first thread nicely covered both the first year of operation in the new forum, and also the birthdays of famous historical figures and events. A lot of information exists on that thread that shouldn't be deleted for the sake of starting a new round of posts. However, the first thread currently has more than 50 pages covering a lot of posts.

In effect, I want to start all over again with a new year, a new feature, a new round of wishing people Happy Birthday without making it too difficult to find a particular post on the first thread.

At least, that's my excuse. The reality is that I'm a neatness freak and just want to start afresh!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 21

Asses Make Donkey Fly
Russian beachgoers got a shock when they saw a donkey soaring in the blue skies over a beach on the Sea of Azov as an advertising stunt. Attached to a parasail parachute, the animal screamed in fear as it circled over the heads of holidaymakers at Golubitskaya. It survived. Police said an investigation has been launched.

Career Change Could be an Option
Australian schoolteacher Valissa Bauer, 39, filed a million-dollar lawsuit because the school system, north of Brisbane, stuck her in a class of 31 special needs students, causing her to wreck her larynx yelling at them.

Overheard in a newsroom – Junior reporter to Editor: “He just hung up on me. Does that mean no comment?”

Who’s having birthday on July 21?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 22

Ice whisky for tests
A crate of whisky that lay frozen and undiscovered for more than 100 years beneath the hut of Antarctic explorer Sir Ernest Shackleton is being thawed to reveal its secrets. The crate, left by Shackleton during his 1908 British Antarctic Expedition and found this year, was brought back to the Canterbury Museum in Christchurch where officials said it would be analysed.

“And yes, a full analysis will include tasting it,” said one official with a smile.

Church all steamed up
Some Catholics may sweat in the confessional as they admit to things they shouldn’t have done, but Vienna’s archdiocese has ruled the box-like structure where believers confess their sins cannot be advertised for sale as being ‘ideal for use as a sauna’.

Archdiocese spokesman Erich leitenberger said that ‘auctioning objects that were used for dispensing the sacraments wasn’t acceptable.’

The confessional was offered for auction by a church undergoing renovations. The highest amount offered before it was yanked from the internet was €666.66.

Overheard in a newsroom – Features Editor to Reporter: “When little old ladies like your stuff, that’s a compliment, because little old ladies tend to bitch about everything!”

Who’s having their birthday on July 22?
No one

[Oldschool]

Overheard in a newsroom – Features Editor to Reporter: “When little old ladies like your stuff, that’s a compliment, because little old ladies tend to bitch about everything!”



ROTFLMAO......... repped.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 23

Mosquito chokes TV presenter
A Taiwanese television presenter was taken to hospital after a mosquito flew into her mouth, interrupting her live broadcast of a news item. The mosquito became stuck in Huang Ching’s wind-pipe, touching off a severe asthma attack that choked her. China Television Co had to put on a four-minute advertisement until a replacement presenter could be found. Huang spent a day in hospital.

To idiocy and beyond…
Steve Bolton wanted to prove he was the world’s biggest Toy Story fan… so he officially changed his name to Buzz Lightyear. The 26-year-old British mechanic says he loved the first two movies so much, he wanted to do something special for the launch of Toy Story 3.

Overheard in a newsroom – Reporter to intern: “Journalism is a lot like crime. It might seem fun, but it sure doesn’t pay.”

Who’s having their birthday on July 23?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 24

Make mine a foie gras
Corruption in Russia has made road-building ridiculously expensive. In the southern town of Sochi, the price tag for a 48km stretch of road was £4.9 billion. For the same amount of money, it would be possible to coat the road with foie gras 20cm thick, or a 5cm layer of truffles. Alternatively, the road could be lined with a layer of oysters or black caviar for the same amount of cash. A river of Hennesy cognac 13cm deep would also cost the same.

Wilson fools no one
Police in Argentina are on the lookout for two escaped prisoners. Because of a manpower shortage, only two of the 15 guard towers at a prison were manned, and one had a crudely made dummy inside. The dummy was made from a football and a prison officer’s cap. It was made to fool the prisoners into thinking they were being watched. The dummy had been named ‘Wilson’, like the ball in the film Castaway with Tom Hanks

Overheard in a newsroom – Sports reporter: “You know, if this was an actual newsroom, I’d be the editor”

Editor: “No. If this was an actual newsroom, you’d be unemployed.”

Who’s having their birthday on July 24?
No one

[Young Ned]

The dummy had been named ‘Wilson’, like the football in the film Castaway with Tom Hanks

Technically, that was a volleyball.

[Oldschool]

True it was a volleyball but easily misremembered as a soccer ball. Until you pointed it out I figured Badstench was just using the term many English speaking countries aside from the US use for a soccer ball. Or rugby ball for that matter.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_%28ball%29

Actually when I read your post I was like "...it was a volleyball."

Nice reminder YN.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 25

Kings cancel when pigeon poo becomes too much
Chants of “refund, refund”, were heard throughout an arena in the United States after chart-topping band, Kings of Leon, cut their concert short after playing only three songs yesterday.

Jared Followill, the bassist with the band, was defecated on by pigeons living in the rafters of the Verizon Amphitheatre in St Louis. When the pigeon excrement landed on his cheek and seeped into his mouth, the band finished the song and walked off stage.

An official statement said the event was cancelled because of health concerns.

Quit your sponging
A budget-conscious council in Austria has requested that swimmers stop swallowing water in a bid to save money. According to a survey carried out by managers at Vienna's 18 public swimming pools, swimmers are drinking 500 litres of chlorinated pool water a day.

An official pointed out that, as well as replacing water, authorities had to spend €24 on chlorine - €1.3 a pool. The council is also targeting people who wear Bermuda shorts to go bathing. Tests revealed that the average wearer takes 2.5 litres of water with them trapped in their swimwear every time they get out of the pool.

The official said: "That means that for every 1000 visits to the pool we lose 2500 litres of water."

Overheard in a newsroom – Reporter to News Anchor: “You heard it from me first. I just broke news in your direction.”

News Anchor, not realizing he had gone live: “I wondered what that smell was.”

Who’s having their birthday on July 25?
No one again!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 26.

Tomato disaster looms
A new chapter is about to be added to the history of Italian disasters. It may not be quite up there with the Fall of Rome or the eruption of Mt Vesuvius, but the great tomato massacre of 2010 is bad news for a country which has the humble but versatile pomodoro at the heart of its culinary life.

The farmer’s trade union, Coldaretti, said production of the tomato was down as much as 25 per cent because of exceptionally high temperatures. “The heat has led to a tomato massacre,” Coldaretti said.

Dairy farmers, meanwhile, report their cows are producing 15 per cent less milk than normal because of the heat. Farmers have set up showers, fans and air conditioning in their cowsheds.

Dead end for Elvis auction
A Chicago auction house has cancelled the sale of tools allegedly used to embalm Elvis Presley after a dispute between a retired embalmer and a Memphis funeral home. The items, including the John Doe toe tag allegedly attached to Elvis at the hospital, rubber gloves, forceps and other tools used to prepare the body, will be returned to the Memphis funeral home. The items had been expected to fetch around US$7,000

Overheard in a newsroom – Production editor to foreign correspondent: “We need to get some bad news for today’s edition. Please tell me there’s been a natural disaster somewhere.”

Who’s having their birthday on July 26?
Still no one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 27.

Spectators rocked by falling meteorite
When two spectators standing on the boundary at a cricket match saw an object hurtling down from the sky, their first instinct might have been to applaud. However, Jan Marszel and Richard Haynes, members of the Sussex Cricket Club, were not witnessing a big hit, but an extremely rare meteor strike.

Mr Marszel said: “It landed 5 yards inside the boundary and split into two pieces. One piece bounced up and hit me in the chest and the other ended up against the boundary board. It came across at quite a speed – if it had hit me full on it could have been very interesting.”

Quote from a year 13 student
When an adult says to me, “You spend too much time on that Xbox. Go outside and get some sun.” I answer, “ You know… there’s no such thing as getting too much Xbox, but there is such a thing as getting too much sun!”

Overheard in a newsroom – Reporter to caller: ‘Sir, if you’ve been in an accident, your first call should be for an ambulance, not to a TV station.”

Who’s having their birthday on July 27?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 28.

Communion given to pet dog
An Anglican church in Toronto, Canada, has been deluged with complaints after a vicar gave Holy Communion to a pet dog. The vicar, Reverend Marguerite Rea, has become the focus of the controversy for giving communion bread, considered to represent the body of Christ, to a German shepherd called Trapper.

Mrs Rea has since apologized to the area bishop, Patrick Yu. The Bishop said it was “not the policy of the Anglican church to give communion to animals." He added: “Unless she does it again, the matter is closed.

“We are, after all, in the forgiveness and repair business.”

From the “Strange Inventions” file
A company called “The Way We See The World” has created Jelloware Edible Glasses. They are made out of agar, a seaweed extract. In reality, the glasses are not for eating, but are meant to be thrown into the grass to nurture the growth of plants after they’re used.

Meanwhile, the US military has developed specially designed underpants for soldiers that will monitor the vitals of the personnel wearing them. They can even administer painkillers or antibiotics.

Overheard in a newsroom – Editor to page designer: “I’m going to rearrange this train-wreck of a page and bring it up to speed. I’ll let you know when to jump.”

Who’s having their birthday on July 28?
No one

[thingirl]

Communion given to pet dog
An Anglican church in Toronto, Canada, has been deluged with complaints after a vicar gave Holy Communion to a pet dog. The vicar, Reverend Marguerite Rea, has become the focus of the controversy for giving communion bread, considered to represent the body of Christ, to a German shepherd called Trapper.

Mrs Rea has since apologized to the area bishop, Patrick Yu. The Bishop said it was “not the policy of the Anglican church to give communion to animals." He added: “Unless she does it again, the matter is closed.

“We are, after all, in the forgiveness and repair business.”


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7910177/Vicar-gives-Holy-Communion-to-dog.html

So many things I can say here....

Some people put too much trust in the ceremony, and not what it represents! True, dogs don't have souls, and so Christ didn't die for them. However, this is a priest trying to make a guest welcome!!! What (pardon my Spanish ;)) by God is wrong with THAT!!!!!!! Nothing!!!! Make guests welcome, and they come back, Si?

It's also sad that all this made world news because of ONE!!!!!!!!! person's complaint!!!!! It's also showing the general... well, it isn't exactly open hostility... distrust of Christians these days.

(Rant over. Back to my happy face now :) hehe)

[scout1idf]

True, dogs don't have souls, and so Christ didn't die for them.

What makes you think one of God's creations doesn't have a soul? Just because it's a dog, doesn't mean it doesn't have a soul.

[spencer]

Oh boy, here we go!! I am just going to watch, it should be quite fun.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 29.

An expensive toilet finder
Tired of getting caught short? A new iPhone application will tell you where to go and when to go. Aimed at people with a bowel disorder – as well as travelers and parents with young children – the iToilet maps will show users the way to more than 1300 public toilets.

The iPhone, because it contains a GPS receiver, knows where it is and can be loaded with maps, such as the toilet map application, a first for New Zealand. It will highlight the public toilets near the user – or for any location they key in – as well as identifying any that are male or female only, and those designed for people with disabilities.

Fake coins make all of them scrap
All of Britain’s £1 coins in circulation may have to be scrapped because of the rising number of fakes, according to the most senior coin tester at the Royal Mint. Latest figures indicated there are 41 million fake £1 coins – 1 in every 36 in circulation.

Experts said the level of fakes was so high there was a serious risk that consumer confidence in Britain’s most popular coin was being compromised.

Overheard in a newsroom – copy editor compiling the obituaries: “Hey, this obituary is for one of our subscribers.”

Sales manager: “Damn. That’s means a cancellation.”

Who’s having their birthday on July 29?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 30.

School roll of two
A rural Otago school is fighting to stay open after its roll dropped to two pupils, who just happen to be the children of the principal. The board of the school in this south New Zealand farming area is looking at how to boost numbers after a family with three children left the district. The board consists of the principal and his wife.

A Ministry of Education official met the community last week to discuss options. Present at the meeting were the government official and the only representatives of the community – you guessed it, the principal and his wife.

Boy, 5, sues store
A 5-year-old boy wrongly accused of stealing a bag of chips has won €7500 in damages for defamation of character. An Irish court heard that Tadhg Mooney had been in a store with his mother when a shop assistant grabbed his arm and made the accusation.

The family’s lawyer, Dermot McNamara, said his client had suffered injury to his reputation and had been caused to suffer stress. He added that the shop assistant’s grabbing of the boy’s arm amounted to false imprisonment and assault.

Overheard in a newsroom – Female reporter making a general comment in the newsroom concerning the unisex bathroom: “Perhaps with the new editor’s emphasis on investigative reporting, we can finally investigate who’s been pissing all over the toilet seat.”

Who’s having their birthday on July 30?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, July 31

New cover-up by the Vatican
The Vatican has been criticized after taking action against tourists wearing skimpy clothes. Tourists entering St Peter’s Basilica have long been required to dress modestly, but this week the Swiss Guards – the Pope’s security force – appear to have extended the rules to the entire Vatican City.

The guards drew aside men in shorts and women with uncovered shoulders and short skirts to tell them they were not dressed properly. Some female visitors bought shawls and scarves from nearby hawkers, while a few men had to buy long trousers from nearby shops. Others were flatly refused entry

Longboarders labeled as lunatics
A group of visiting Canadian longboarders have been lambasted as lunatics and idiots by the police. The group took their hobby to the Bombay Hills expressway, south of Auckland, entering one of the busiest stretches of highway in New Zealand from the Razor Ridge on-ramp.

They recorded their feat and posted the film on Facebook for their friends to view, from where it made its way to Youtube. It shows them travelling at speeds of up to 105kph (65mph) – more than the legal speed limit for that stretch of road – and passing a heavy truck.

A police spokesperson said “They are idiots! Travelling at that speed with virtually no protection could have seen one of them killed, or worse, caused an innocent motorist to have an accident and be killed. The fact that one of them was actually bare-footed is just sheer lunacy!”

The police spokesperson added, “Unfortunately, there is no law against longboarding on public roads unless it can be proven that they were proceeding with endangerment to other road-users, and we have not received any official complaints to enable us to take the matter further.”

View the stunt here > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DgVo1IAVrDM

Overheard in a newsroom – Page designer with a cold explains to the editor: “If I make any mistakes today, it’s ‘cos my brain matter has been replaced with snot.”

Who’s having their birthday on July 31?
No one!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 1

White rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits

Nightclub flirt loses dentures down woman's cleavage
A man who tried to chat up a woman in a German nightclub dropped his false teeth down her cleavage.

Shop assistant Tina Lange, 37, who met the man in a disco in Mannheim, said: "I wasn't very interested in him but when I was leaving, he whispered in my ear: 'I hope we'll see each other again.' He then dropped something down my cleavage, which I thought was his phone number."

But when she later went to fish it from between her breasts, she found it was a plate of three false teeth.

She said: "If he wants his teeth back, he'll have to ring me."

Man learns to tell 'pigs' from cops
A New Zealand man who called police officers 'pigs' has been ordered to spend a day at a pig farm. The 22-year-old has also been ordered to write an essay about the difference between pigs and police officers.

The man was charged with using offensive language after he hurled abuse at police during a trip to Auckland. Community Magistrate Robyn Paterson ordered him to spend a day at a pig farm and present a short essay on his experiences, reports The Bay of Plenty Times.

Overheard in a newsroom – Copy editor talking to herself (in the hope someone will hear and care): “I haven’t had a day off in months.”

Editor: “Don’t be absurd. I didn’t see you here last Sunday!”

Who’s having their birthday on August 1?
No one… but there’s a biggie tomorrow.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 2.

Oops… and ouch!
In Bridgewater, England, a police officer accidentally tasered Peter Cox in the groin after stopping him on suspicion of driving without insurance. The officer apologized to Mr Cox, who had to be treated by paramedics. The police released him upon finding he did have insurance after all.

Land mine tragedy
Dozens of land mines have washed up on South Korean shores in recent days, apparently swept from North Korea by torrential rains. Two men found one mine in a wooden box floating in a river while they were fishing near the border, said an officer. One killed a man and seriously wounded the other when it exploded as they carried it home.

The officer said, “The explosion killed them as a result of being stupid.”

Overheard in the newsroom – Gossip columnist: “It’s not a good week unless you’ve made someone cry.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 2?
We need a fanfare for this one… “Bugler’s - preeeee zent bugles!”

[TAN-TA-RAAAA]

Happy Birthday Scarbrow!

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Scarbrow

[texlaw1992]

May you have many more.

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday Scarbrow!!!

[Elrond]

Feliz Cumpleaños

[spencer]

Happy Birthday, Scarbrow!!!

[Doolipalally]

Happy birthday, Scarbrow! Hope life treats you well today.

[racey]

Happy Birthday, Scarbrow! Have a wonderful day.

[thingirl]

Feliz Cumpleaños, Scarbrow!!!!!!!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 3.

Celebrity touch causes Twitter shock
Making friends on Twitter can be a thankless task, but when Kanye West randomly selected Steven Holmes of Coventry as his first Twitter-friend, things suddenly got a lot busier for the Englishman. His number of Twitter followers jumped from 60 to more than 1200 within hours.

Exactly why West picked Holmes is a mystery. When the Coventry man tweeted back to his newly found friend, “Holy s**t bro, thx for following!” the rap star replied only: “You are the chosen one dun dun dun dun.”

Holmes is now trying to adjust to the demands of his new audience. “I feel pressure to say amusing and witty tweets now,” he said.

Rubbish clogs giant dam
Layers of rubbish floating in the Yangtze River are threatening to jam China’s massive Three Gorges hydroelectric dam, state media reported. The garbage is so thick in parts that people can walk on the surface. Nearly three tonnes of refuse are collected from the dam every day, but now the rubbish is accumulating faster than it can be removed because of floods.

Overheard in the newsroom – Intern to seasoned reporter: “Can you help me get a cool nickname like yours? I’m sick of being called “Hey, you!”

Who’s having their birthday on August 3?

Happy Birthday Wyllow

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Wyllow

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday Wyllow

[Lightwielder]

Belated Happy Birthday to you, Scarbrow. Still the 2nd in my time zone, but maybe not in yours. Scarbrow, you share the same birthday as my little brother. That's why I've only just gotten on to check the Forum.

Happy Birthday to you, too, Wyllow.

[Mak]

Happy Birthday, Wyllow and Scarbrow!

May life grant you what you need but not necessarilly what you want! (old cretan blessing - no, it's not a curse!)

[thingirl]

Happy Birthday Wyllow!!!

[spencer]

Happy Birthday, Wyllow!! You arrreeee great!!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 4.

Bed bugged bite back
The city that never sleeps? Tell that to New York’s bed bugs. The tiny blood suckers specialize in feeding off sleeping bodies and, this northern summer in the Big Apple, they’re enjoying the pickings of their lives.

After infesting unprecedented numbers of apartments and offices, officials warn of an epidemic and promise half a million dollars in anti-bedbug funds.

“We want to send a message to bedbugs,” said city council speaker, Christine Quinn. “Drop dead. Your days are over.”

Gorilla glass ready to shine
An ultra-strong glass that has been looking for a purpose since its invention is poised to become a multi-billion dollar bonanza for American glass-maker, Corning. Gorilla glass showed early promise in the ‘60s, but failed to find a commercial use until it picked up its first customer in 2008.

The glass has since become a US$170 million a year business as a protective layer over the screens of cellphones and other mobile devices. Now, the latest trend in TVs could catapult it to a billion dollar business with its use over frameless flat screens that could be mistaken for chic glass artwork on a living-room wall.

Overheard in the newsroom – Reporter, reading the paper after publication: “Who writes this crap? Oh, I do.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 4?
No one

[Scarbrow]

Belated thanks to everybody. It's very touching to be remembered that way.

I'm just back from a week long vacation on Switzerland with my lady and her mother to visit their family and make a little tourism (a sort of goodbye trip, by the way) and I'm getting ready to finish my move to my own flat for the foreseeable future (not that I can foresee very far).

I've bought the very best mobile broadband connection I could find on the market for my new home, so hopefully (if time allows) I will be able to stay connected from there.

In short, I'm back, my plate is still quite full, and thank you all again.

EDIT: As a side note, I spend most of my birthday traveling to Heidiland (sort of a tiny thematic park about Heidi) in the village of Mayenfeld, climbing half way to the top hut (allegedly, Heidi's grandfather's summer hut) on said park, and returning to my base camp in the city of St Gallen. A really nice excursion.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 5.

Beware the office feeder
Beware the office feeder, declares the headline in the Daily Mail. “They tempt with sweets and treats, but never tuck in themselves – what are they up to?” The story goes on to say that this emerging female condition is driven by a desire to appear more attractive than her female colleagues to men in the office by fattening up the other women.

Hello. Are you dead?
A 113-year old woman listed as Tokyo’s oldest person is missing, officials said, days after the city’s oldest man was found dead and mummified. Fusa Furuya, born in July 1897, does not live at the address where she is registered and her whereabouts are unknown.

Her disappearance surfaced just days after the discovery last week that Tokyo’s oldest man, who would have been 111-years old, had actually been dead for decades.

Overheard in the newsroom – Reporter: “It’s such a relief to see a hot missing person. I’m sick to death of ugly-looking missing people.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 5?
No one

[Young Ned]

Happy belated birthday, Scarbrow!

Hello. Are you dead?
A 113-year old woman listed as Tokyo’s oldest person is missing, officials said, days after the city’s oldest man was found dead and mummified. Fusa Furuya, born in July 1897, does not live at the address where she is registered and her whereabouts are unknown.

Her disappearance surfaced just days after the discovery last week that Tokyo’s oldest man, who would have been 111-years old, had actually been dead for decades.

For more details on this seriously weird story, see Japan mysteriously losing track of centenarians (http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=%2Fc%2Fa%2F2010%2F08%2F04%2FMNH61 EO51J.DTL). I mean, really, the guy who's supposedly the oldest man in Tokyo turns out to have been dead for over 30 years -- and his decayed body is still there in his home??? How unpopular with the neighbors do you have to BE for nobody to report you dead or missing for thirty years?? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v735/Old_Ned/suspicious.gif http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v735/Old_Ned/sad_eek.gif

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 6.

Garret clan resist pardon
Descendents of Old West lawman Pat Garret met New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson and urged him to reject the idea of a posthumous pardon for the outlaw Billy the Kid, who was killed by Garret nearly 130 years ago in the state.

Three of Garrets grandchildren met Richardson for about an hour. They voiced their objections to a pardon saying it would tarnish Garret’s honour. Richardson is yet to make a decision.

Churchill & the the Great UFO Cover-Up
Winston Churchill was accused of ordering a cover-up of an encounter between a UFO and an RAF aircraft in World War II because he feared a “panic” and a loss of faith in religion, according to newly released secret files. The claim is contained in files on UFOs declassified yesterday by the National Archives.

According to the files, a reconnaissance aircraft was returning from a mission when it was shadowed by a metallic UFO near the coast of England, possibly over Cumbria. Its crew photographed the object, which they said “hovered noiselessly”.

Overheard in the newsroom –
Editor: “What’s your extension number?”

Copy Editor: “Not telling. I am NOT going to have you transfer a complaint to me”

Who’s having their birthday on August 6?
No one

[Badstench]

sorry people... today is one of those "I don't care" days.

no birthdays to report.

What i really need is a movie with big explosions, fast car chases, and high adrenaline. I'll sleep through anything!

[Oldschool]

What i really need is a movie with big explosions, fast car chases, and high adrenaline. I'll sleep through anything!

Try this at maximum volume, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aica46_C7h4 ;)

[texlaw1992]

I'm not sure why, but your calendar is invariably a month behind.

[Oldschool]

I'm not sure why, but your calendar is invariably a month behind.

I'll sleep through anything!


Badstench Van Winkle perhaps. :cool:

[Badstench]

July, August... is time speeding up?


or am I slowing down?

[Young Ned]

Yes. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v735/Old_Ned/icon_cool.gif

[thingirl]

Hey, at least you didn't have to go through a week's worth of school work and change all the 7/x/10 to 8/x/10.

Yeah. I'm not so good when it comes to the change of a month.... Or a year. It was March before I stopped writing "2009" on everything. :)

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 9.

Obama holiday backlash
When Michelle Obama decided to book a holiday in Spain she could never have imagined that by the end of the vacation she would have attracted comparisons with the extravagance of Marie-Antionette.

Obama’s ‘private’ holiday in Marbella coincided with the release of worsening jobless statistics in the United States. Now the questions are coming fast and furious why she is taking so many holidays, how much of the bill will be footed by taxpayers, and why the first family has not holidayed in the Gulf of Mexico in sympathy with communities stricken by the BP oil spill.

Prisoners running jail
Bazilian officials investigating corruption charges against guards at a prison in Rio de Janeiro have discovered the facility was being run by the inmates. Prisoners in the Polinter jail had keys to their cells and controlled who visited the prison and what magazines were delivered.

The only guard at the facility has been arrested.

Overheard in the newsroom – Editor commenting on the approaching retirement of two senior reporters: “The upside is, we’ll get retirement cake that day.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 9?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 10.

The shotgun wedding
It is tradition in Turkey to shoot into the air to celebrate weddings, but when a groom fired an automatic weapon, he accidentally killed his father and two aunts. The Anatolia news agency that reported the incident said eight other relatives were injured when the groom lost control of the weapon and fired into guests.

He was arrested, they added.

Don’t play it again, Sam!
A busker with a two-song repertoire was arrested after abusing the landlord of The Anchor pub in Hastings, East Sussex, who pleaded with him to play something else.

Dean Langley played his guitar and sang Wonderwall by Oasis and American Pie by Don McLean over and over again for hours. When the publican protested, the busker hurled abuse and the police were called.

Overheard in the newsroom – Customer services representative: “Sometimes I feel like the answering service for a mental institution.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 10?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 11.

Grandma oldest to swim channel
An Australian grandmother has become the oldest woman, at age 64, to swim the English Channel crossing from Dover to France in 17 hours and 31 minutes.

Sue Oldham said she fought for up to six hours to get her stroke right. Her throat gave her discomfort, as did a blocked nose and a sore right shoulder.

“When you start something, you have to finish it don’t you? No point getting out when it gets a bit tough,” said Oldham, who also made the crossing in 2006.

A good night’s sleep [Quote from Badstench a few days ago: “I'll sleep through anything”]

Some people can sleep through anything because their brains are capable of fending off noise, a study shows. Researchers have found that heavy sleepers are able to block outside noise getting to their brains, leading to undisturbed sleep.

The discovery of the system, which works only at night and is equivalent to shutting your eyes, could lead to the development of “chemical” earplugs – drugs that block out noise during sleep.

Overheard in the newsroom – Programming director of a TV station: “How much did the animation of this introduction cost us? If it’s more than “nothing”, it’s too much!”

Who’s having their birthday on August 11?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 12.

Cricket legend’s ashes disappear
When cricketing legend Bert Sutcliffe was alive and batting well, he was almost impossible to get out. It seems the same is true in death. The great New Zealand batsman died in April 2007, aged 77, and his ashes were buried at his home cricket ground of Carisbrook in Dunedin.

Now Carisbrook is being replaced by a new stadium, so the Cricket Association asked the Sutcliffe family if it could move the ashes to its new headquarters, but Bert’s ashes cannot be found. No one, it seems, can remember exactly where the urn was buried, and a contractor who searched the ground with a metal detector came up empty handed.

The Sutcliffe family are relaxed about the situation. “We are adopting the attitude that this is Bert’s way of saying he is quite happy where he is,” said a family member.

The heavy weight of justice
An overweight man, Brian Machin, was arrested for unlawful killing after sitting on and suffocating a car thief trying to steal his vehicle, an inquest heard. The 107kg (235.4lbs) man restrained Bernard Doherty by sitting on him outside his house in January.

The inquest heard how Machin held thief until police arrived, by which time they found Doherty unconscious beneath Machin. He could not be revived and was pronounced dead at hospital.

The North Staffordshire Coroner recorded a verdict of accidental death and the case against Brian Machin was eventually dropped.

Overheard in the newsroom – Editor responding to a caller’s query: “No sir, I’m afraid you won’t appear on television in conjunction with this story. You’ve called a newspaper.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 12?

Happy Birthday cddanforth!

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Cddanforth!

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday cddanforth!

[racey]

Happy Birthday cddanforth! Have a great day.

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday cddanforth

[Doolipalally]

Happy birthday, cddanforth! Have a great day.

[spencer]

Happy Birthday cddanforth!!

[thingirl]

Happy Birthday Cddanforth!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 13 & 14

Red faces over road sign gaffe
Many road signs in Wales are printed in both English and Welsh. When the Swansea City Council erected a temporary sign that read, “No entry for heavy goods vehicles. Residential site only”, an email was sent for the correct translation in Welsh.

The answer came back, “Nid wyf yn y swyddfa ar hyn o bryd. Anfonwych unrhyw waith i’w gyfielthu.” And that was painted onto the sign, which was then concreted into place at the entrance to the road.

It wasn’t long before bemused members of the public, who were more fluent with the Welsh language than members of the council, started ringing to point out the blunder.

It seems that the Welsh translation was actually an automated email reply that said, “I am out of the office at the moment. Please resend any work to be translated.”

A prickly problem is ignored
Council workers in Hartlepool, Cleveland, painted yellow lines over a squashed hedgehog rather than move it out of the way.

Florist Allison Hart told Newsline, “It’s disgraceful! Workmen spent the day knocking on people’s doors to get them to move their cars so they could paint the yellow lines, but they weren’t considerate enough to move the poor hedgehog.”

A Hartlepool Borough Council spokeswoman said: "This is obviously an unfortunate incident, but it was the only one of its type reported during the massive project."

Overheard in a newsroom – Reporter returns from an assignment: “Road accidents without bodies are boring.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 13 or 14?
No one

[Elrond]

Getting the early jump on the Aug. 15 birthdays .....

Happy Birthday Taleria!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 15

Monster hacks Scotland Yard website
A top cop website has been hacked by a monster-type creature! The cheeky hackers broke into London's Metropolitan Police recruitment website and posted a picture of a cuddly toy on its front page. Beneath the picture of the green stripy animal they added taunting comments.

The message posted by "Officer Brobee" referred to the Scotland Yard's SO15 counter-terrorism unit. It said: "OH HAI GUYS do joo wanna bes a policeman lulz?"

The embarrassing message and cuddly monster were later removed

A slight lotto bonus brings nice surprise
An 18-year-old who scooped £1.1m (US$1.75m) on the lottery has told Sky News she didn't realise all her lucky numbers had come up. "I watched the lottery on Saturday night and realised I had some numbers but only thought I had four, which was about £70," said Miss Bywater, from Holmfirth, West Yorkshire.

The new millionaire pledges to splash some of her cash on a soft-top Mini Cooper, but she can't go on a spin just yet - she needs to pass her driving test first.

Overheard in a newsroom – Newspaper customer services representative talking to an irate subscriber: “Sir, I’m sure the delivery person doesn’t hate you. I’d like you to consider that someone might be stealing your paper”.

Who’s having their birthday on August 15?
A double-banger

Happy Birthday grelan

Happy Birthday Taleria

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday grelan

Happy Birthday Taleria

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday grelan

Happy Birthday Taleria

[spencer]

Happy Birthday grelan

Happy Birthday Taleria !!

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday grelan

Happy Birthday Taleria

[Lightwielder]

Happy Birthday, Taleria and Grelan.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 16.

Evil Britons screened out
Fiendish Brits, sinister Asians, foppish Frenchmen and cartoonishly stereotyped Muslims are being banned by Hollywood studio executives to avoid offending foreign audiences. However, according to marketing notes, aliens or evil masterminds with “polyglot” accents that don’t identify them with a particular country are fine.

The days of British villains curling their lips and sneering in cut-glass tones may be history. The move should please Dame Helen Mirren who said, “ We’re not the snooty, stuck-up, malevolent creatures as we a too often portrayed.”

Man guilty of being drunk in the wrong place at the wrong time
Police Sergeant Bruce Ross was at the Auckland central police station when an intoxicated man staggered in at 7.30am with a claim that his car had been stolen from where he’d parked it the night before. The man, aged 20, said he was not intending to drive home, but that he’d noticed the car was missing while on his way to catch a bus.

But when Sergeant Ross had finished his shift and was driving home, he happened to glance at another car traveling alongside him on the Southern motorway and recognized the same man behind the wheel. It seems he’d remembered where he’d parked his car and decided to drive home after all. Sergeant Ross phoned for an on-duty police car which soon arrived to pull the drunk driver over.

The man was arrested and later found to be three times over the legal blood/alcohol limit.

Overheard in the newsroom – Reporter trying to meet a deadline: “I don’t know whether to scream, cry or just say to-hell-with-it and get drunk!”

Who’s having their birthday on August 16?
No one

[thingirl]

Happy (late) Birthday, Taleria and Grelan!!!

[racey]

Happy Belated Birthday to Taleria and also to grelan!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 17.

‘Jarhead’ freed – and gets a feed
A black bear cub affectionately known as “Jarhead” can finally enjoy a good meal. A clear plastic container got stuck on its head when the cub poked its head inside while digging through rubbish in a central Florida neighborhood.

The cub was days away from death because the jar made it impossible for the animal to eat or drink. The mother bear had to be tranquilized before the cub could be grabbed and the jar extricated, but both mother and cub are now doing well, last reports confirmed.

Superman or Iron Man – which would you be?
Modern movie superheroes are bad role models for boys as they promote violence and revenge as a way of life, claims Dr Sharon Lamb of the University of Massachusetts.

“There is a big difference in the movie superhero of today and the comic book superhero of yesterday,” she said. “The comic book heroes of the past, like Superman, fought against criminals. They were heroes boys could look up to and learn from because, outside of their costumes, they were real people with real problems and vulnerabilities.”

“Today’s superhero is too much like an action hero who participates in non-stop violence; he’s aggressive, sarcastic and rarely speaks to the virtue of doing good for humanity. When not in superhero costume, these men, like Iron Man, exploit women, flaunt bling and convey their manhood with high-powered guns.”

“The question to ask ourselves is which of these superheroes do we want our children to emulate?”

Overheard in the newsroom – Reporter boasts after returning from a writer’s workshop: “I was told I was a veritable ‘Hemmingway-in-the-making'.”

Editor: “Ha! That’s code for, ‘Your drinking and womanizing will kill you one day’!”

Who’s having their birthday on August 17?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 18.

There’s nothing funny about politics in Brazil
Brazilian TV and radio broadcasters are legally forbidden from making fun of candidates ahead of the nation’s October 3 election. With the first wave of on-air political adverts starting today, Brazil’s comedians and satirists are planning to fight for their right to ridicule.

They call the political anti-joking law a draconian relic that threatens free speech and is a blight on the reputation of Latin America’s largest country. Making fun of candidates on-air ahead of elections is punishable by fines up to US$112,000 and a broadcast license suspension.

Without any comic relief in sight, Brazilians are in for weeks of deadpan coverage.

Sinners will be fired
A Russian Tycoon has ordered his employees to embrace the Russian Orthodox Church or lose their jobs. Vasily Boiko The Great, who controls a major agricultural holding, has written to his 6500 employeess ordering those “living in sin” to get married within two months or be fired. The deadline, October 14, is a Russian Orthodox festival. He has also banned employees and their wives from getting abortions, saying he does not want to work with “killers”.

Boiko The Great added the suffix to his surname by deed poll. Government officials say the tycoon risks breaking Russian labour laws.

Overheard in the newsroom – Editor to movie critic columnist: I can’t print this unless we get a balanced point of view. Do you know of anyone who actually liked the movie?”

Who’s having their birthday on August 18?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 19.

Daggers drawn in dance
A dancer in a Royal New Zealand Ballet performance of Romeo and Juliet was accidentally stabbed on stage in the Canberra Theatre. Pierre Doncq’s thigh was pierced by a knife during the fight scee between the Capulet and Montague families.

Doncq was taken to hospital for minor surgery. His next role is in The Nutcracker. [I don’t know if it’s true, but the paper actually printed that last bit, I kid you not!]

Ad not abreast of the times
The British Advertising Standards Agency has ordered Trickett’s door and window company to stop using an ad showing a topless woman with her breasts covered by a pair of door knockers.

The ad read: “We sell big knockers – also, window handles, window hinges and door handles” The agency said the ad objectified and degraded women. It also found that the knockers in the ad didn’t look like those the company sells.

Overheard in the newsroom – Editor’s general comment to the newsroom: “OK, who’s got porn open on their computer? Anyone?… No one? What’s wrong with this place!”

Who’s having their birthday on August 19?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 20.

For sale: boy’s toy to beat them all
Stuck for a Father’s Day present? You surely couldn’t go wrong giving Dad his very own Cold War-era jet fighter. The ultimate boy’s toy, a Russian MiG-21MF will be up for grabs in an online auction.

The 37-year old fighter jet previously used by the Polish Air Force is the only single seat aircraft of its type in New Zealand. At almost 16 metres long and with a wingspan of 7 metres, it could reach supersonic speeds of more than 2000km/h.

“The starting bid is set at NZ$10,000,” said a Turners Auction consultant. He added, “But if any bidders hope to fly it, they should be aware that they cost something like NZ$20,000 an hour to run.”

Asterix feels the backlash of discontent
A new McDonalds advert featuring Asterix enjoying a hamburger and fries has sparked outrage among French comic purists who claim the Gallic hero has surrendered to the American fast food chain.

Aficionados of Axterix, who many see as a symbol of French cultural exception in the face of United States hegemony, voiced their dismay online that the character had “sold out” to consumerism.

“Did the sky fall on their heads?” asked one contributor to Le Poste, a news blogging website. Another said his childhood hero had been “sacrificed like a wild boar.”

Overheard in the newsroom – Copy Editor comments while working late to meet a deadline: “I’m like a Gremlin… if I’m not fed with caffeine regularly, I can turn very nasty!”

Who’s having their birthday on August 20?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 21

Burglar comes unstuck
A suspected burglar had to be rescued by firefighters after getting stuck for six hours with his legs hanging out of a window. The unidentified man had been attempting to enter a house in Bow, east London, when he became stuck between 2am and 3am on Tuesday.

The homeowner discovered him dangling through his window when he got out of bed later that morning, and called police. Amused spectators watched as the man was freed at around 8.30am and taken away under arrest.

Wooly mammoths ‘ran out of grass’
Giant woolly mammoths died out because they ran out of grass – not because they were hunted to extinction, according to scientists.

Until now, it was thought the huge relatives of modern elephants had been harried and hunted into oblivion by early man. Instead, global warming 21,000 years ago left the massive mammals with nothing to eat.

As the planet heated up and the weather got wetter, forests spread out, leaving large herbivores like mammoths with less to eat and causing knock-on effects for the rest of the food chain, the scientists found.

Overheard in a newsroom – Reporter, working on restaurant story: “I’m going to propose a nationwide ban and revision on the current spelling of ‘hors d’oeuvres.’”

Who’s having their birthday on August 21?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 22

Australian election is confused
Coalition Leader, Tony Abbot has said: “We haven’t won, but we haven’t lost”

Incumbent Labour leader, Julia Gillard has said: “The results are uncertain. What is certain is that I stand behind the policies of the Labour Party.”

Coalition Leader, Tony Abbot said: “It is clear that the swing away from Labour gives us a victory, even if we don’t win.”

Labour Leader, Julia Gillard said: “The people have spoken, even if The Coalition is trying to drown them out. The results will prevail.”

The Australian voter said: “Fair dinkum, mate. It’s like watching a kangaroo with schizophrenia. Which way is it going to jump?”

Exploding mobile phone creates concern
A man has been killed in India after the mobile phone he was using exploded, according to reports. There were no witnesses to the incident - but it was assumed the man was talking on his Nokia when the blast happened in the northern state of Rajasthan.

Police believe he was killed by the device after discovering pieces of the Nokia 1209 handset, a basic model released in August 2008, scattered nearby. The victim had gone into a forest to tend to his grazing cattle around noon and his body was recovered later that night. The Times of India said it was probably the first incident in the country where a mobile phone had exploded while it was not being charged.

Sky News Online was waiting a response from Nokia to news of the reported death

Overheard in a newsroom – Reporter: “My next job will be one where I achieve the most reward from the least output, which is the reverse of this job.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 22?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 23.

A load of old croc
Beaches along the English Channel have been reopened to swimmers amid reports that a crocodile was seen close to popular beaches. French Authorities raised the alarm after more than one witness confirmed sightings of a 3.5m reptile.

Although crocodiles have been known to enter the English Channel on occasion, the event is quite rare because of the cold-water current that flows from the North Sea. A spokesperson for animal welfare said, “if a crocodile was in the English Channel it would be in great discomfort and therefore extremely dangerous.”

The crocodile alert was lifted when the culprit was found to be a drifting piece of wood

Look but don’t touch
Grandfather, Steve Lock, of the UK was stunned when he bought a birthday card for a 2-year old that clearly said “Happy Birthday to a 2-year old” – only to find a footnote on the back saying, “Not suitable for children under 3”.

A spokesperson from the card company said; “A card is for display, not a toy. It is suitable for a 2-year old only for looking at, not for playing with.”

Steve Lock claims the world has gone “health and safety mad.”

Overheard in the newsroom – Editor at the conclusion of interviewing a new employee: “Do you drink?”

Interviewee: “No I don’t”

Editor: “You will by Monday. Welcome to the newsroom.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 23?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 24.

From the “Oops, that’s not quite right” file
Correction: Due to incorrect information received from the Clerk of Courts office, Diane K. Merchant was listed as being fined for prostitution in Wednesday’s paper. The charge should have read “failure to stop at a railroad crossing”.

It’s official – we’re all barking mad!
Do you think you’re mad when you start talking to your dog? Don’t worry. At least half of animal owners spill their problems to their pets, according to a new study. And it gets worse – a third of women say their dog is a better listener than their partner, while 15% of men reckon their dog shows them more affection than their loved ones.

The study showed that people were increasingly humanizing their pets and treating them as members of their family. Nearly all dog or cat owners admitted to “cherishing pets”, with more than half considering themselves a parent to their animals.

The research also found that the traditional, rural image of dogs as workers is fading, with pet owners more likely to pamper their dogs, let them sleep inside and feed them top-shelf products. One in five respondents let their dogs sleep in their bed every night.

Furthermore, More than half of pet owners bought birthday presents for their dog or cat, spending up to $50 on presents. Many of them even went so far as to throw birthday parties for their pets.

Overheard in the newsroom – Editor to staff in general: “Congratulations – we’ve gone to print with an hour of normal work time remaining. For that hour, just look like you’re doing something important.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 24?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 25.

The mother of all traffic jams
A massive traffic jam in north China that stretches for dozens of kilometers has attained its tenth day of existence. The jam stems from road construction in Beijing that won’t be finished until the middle of next month.

The traffic jam started on August 14 in an area where traffic volume has increased by 40 per cent every year. Because of the congestion, the road construction is desperately needed, but there are no alternate routes for commuters and travelers to use. Bumper-to-bumper gridlock spanning up to 100km (62 miles) has seen traffic moving by little more than 1km per day, stranding drivers.

The road construction is not due to be completed till September 17

The things people ask…
Customer service hubs handle more than 50 million calls each year with most coming from people wanting information about council tax, environmental services or parking. Occasionally, however, the calls are something of a surprise.

A German man in Northumberland went into the customer services reception area and demanded political asylum. Staff explained that people within the EU are free to come and go as they please, but he still refused to leave. Eventually, the police were called in.

Another caller - this time to Surrey County Council - wanted to know whether he was allowed to roll up a zebra crossing.

A motorist who found her car in a different parking spot from where she thought she had parked it, rang the council to ask if it was haunted.

And another Surrey resident phoned to see if it was all right to put a dead fox in his recycling bin.

Overheard in the newsroom – Editor berating a junior reporter: “You can’t refer to any ole’ person as a “terrorist”, even if he is a heavily armed redneck!”

Who’s having their birthday on August 25?

Happy Birthday Neo!

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Neo!

[thingirl]

Happy Birthday Neo!!!

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Neo

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 26.

No one likes a do-gooder
Their selfless acts should probably put us all to shame, but new research has demonstrated no one really likes “do-gooders”. A study by psychologists in the United States demonstrated that apparent acts of altruism often serve only to alienate others. Those who volunteer to take on unwanted tasks or who hand out gifts without being prompted are resented for “raising the bar” for others or treated with outright suspicion

Participants of the study frequently said of do-gooders, “That person is making me look bad”. Occasionally they would suspect the person had ulterior motives. The do-gooders are seen as deviant rule-breakers.

Saying ‘Thank you’ is not cool
No matter how nice you have been, don’t expect the English to say thank you. Research suggests today’s Britons are no longer capable of saying those two words when expressing gratitude.

Instead, “cheers” has overtaken the expression to become the most popular form of thanks. Forty per cent of those polled said they believe saying “Thank you” sounds too formal and would rather heap praise using terms such as “fab”, “lovely” or “wicked”. Other popular phrases include “ta”, “cool” and “great”.

Despite the trend toward more informal language, two thirds of people described Britain as a “rude” nation.

Overheard in the newsroom – Editor’s assistant is overheard saying: “As well as the settlement, she got to hit him over the head with a golf club, so I’d say she did pretty well for herself.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 26?
No one

[scout1idf]

A belated.....


Happy Birthday Neo!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 27.

Wife trouble at the track
Two horses with different owners were both entered in the same race at a New Jersey track. One was named “Mywifenosevrything” and the other was named “Thewifedoesntknow”.

The race announcer, Larry Collmus, had noticed the difficult names but didn’t envisage both horses would vie for first place at the end of the race. He kept up the call as the two horses duelled down the home stretch, deftly flicking between the tongue-twisting names.

At the finish he exclaimed: “Mywifenosevrything more than Thewifedoesntknow. Whew!”

Video of the race-call has gone viral on YouTube.

Crocodile Dundee traps himself
Actor Paul Hogan, who played Crocodile Dundee in two iconic Australian movies but now lives in the US with his wife, Linda Kozlowski, and their 12-year old son, returned to Australia to attend his mother’s funeral.

The Australian Taxation Office pounced, preventing Hogan from leaving the country because of an alleged unpaid multi-million dollar tax bill.

Hogan, 70, could potentially be stuck in Australia for years. His lawyers said Hogan was “stunned and very disappointed by the decision. You’re talking about a person who almost single-handedly gained Australia international recognition through his portrayal of Crocodile Dundee. This has resulted in countless millions of tourism dollars to the Australian economy. A man who should be greeted as a returning hero has been vilified as a bludger instead. This is a sad day for all Australians.”

Overheard in the newsroom – Print reporter: “What does, ‘make this post sticky’ mean?”

Web editor: “If you don’t already know, I don’t want you anywhere near my computer.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 27?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 28 & 29

The five year headache fixed
A Polish man had a bullet lodged in the back of his head for five years because he was too drunk to realise he had been shot at a New Year party. The 35-year-old, who lives in Germany, was at a street party when he was hit by a .22-calibre bullet in the western town of Herne.

The man told police he remembered taking a blow to the head "in 2004 or 2005" but did not get medical help and forgot about the incident because he had been "very drunk".

The bullet did not penetrate his skull and police said he only went to see a doctor when he felt a lump in the back of his head. After an X-ray showed an object under his skin, doctors operated and found the projectile.

Police believe the bullet may have been fired in celebration by a fellow party-goer.

Alligator on vacation in the Big Apple
Police in New York City have captured an alligator after it was spotted emerging from a storm drain. New Yorkers on Newtown Avenue near 29th Street were startled to see the toothy reptile crawl onto the street.

Police were called and the 20in animal was caught and had its jaws taped safely shut.

Elizabeth Ferguson witnessed the event saying:"That's the craziest thing I've ever seen. "He was really small, but mean looking."

Overheard in a newsroom – Despondent reporter returns from covering a story about a miniature horse: “It was just like a big dog that shits a lot!”

Who’s having their birthday on August 29?

Happy Birthday Jimyred

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday
Jimyred

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Jimyred

[thingirl]

Who’s having their birthday on August 28?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY THINMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you Daddy ♥ :)

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Thinman

[scout1idf]

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

Happy Birthday Thinman

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

[texlaw1992]

Happy Birthday Thinman/Thindad.

[racey]

Happy Birthday to Jimyred and

Happy Belated Birthday to Thinman!

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Jimyred
Happy Birthday Thinman

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 30

Alternative holiday destinations
Catherine Price’s new book, 101 Places Not to See Before You Die, is like a reverse bucket list. It’s about the world’s most pointless or disgusting tourist traps that you should avoid.

One is the Karostas Cieturns Prison Hotel in Latvia. It’s a prison that has been minimally converted into a hotel. “It’s not like they took a prison and tried to spice it up,” Price explains. “It really looks like a prison. Guests sleep on iron beds or prison bunks in sparse cells with one small window that looks onto a bleak yard.”

For an extra-special occasion, you can arrange to be abducted at your workplace and ‘delivered’ to the hotel.

Temperatures rise over shirt etiquette
There’s an emerging fashion trend in China that’s causing some inter-generational conflict. Older men are rolling up their shirts over their bellies in public to cool off, and sometimes use the garment as a fan.

Younger men think the habit is crude and embarrassing and have started calling the older men “exposing grandfathers”. One 21-year old scoffs, “It lowers beijing’s standing as an international city. I sometimes go without a shirt at home, but never in public. If my dad reaches for his shirt when I’m out with him, I threaten to go home. It’s just too embarrassing!”

Overheard in the newsroom – Customer services representative to irate customer: “Sir, I can assure you our reporters are completely professional… and I have no idea who the ‘cheeky whippersnapper’ might be.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 30?

Happy Birthday dman2life

[zmflavius]

Temperatures rise over shirt etiquette
There’s an emerging fashion trend in China that’s causing some inter-generational conflict. Older men are rolling up their shirts over their bellies in public to cool off, and sometimes use the garment as a fan.

Younger men think the habit is crude and embarrassing and have started calling the older men “exposing grandfathers”. One 21-year old scoffs, “It lowers beijing’s standing as an international city. I sometimes go without a shirt at home, but never in public. If my dad reaches for his shirt when I’m out with him, I threaten to go home. It’s just too embarrassing!”



Ha, actually I noticed on my last visit to China (a year ago or so) that it's not uncommon for older men to simply pass on donning shirts at all. Of course, that practice was usually limited to residential areas...

Also,

Happy Birthday dman2life

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday
dman2life

[spencer]

Happy Birthday Jimyred
Happy Birthday Thinman
Happy Birthday Dman2life

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday dman2life

[racey]

Happy Birthday dman2life!

[thingirl]

Happy Birthday dman2life!!!

[Dariel]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DMAN2LIFE!:D

And thanks everyone for all the happy birthday wishes (I know I'm extremely late, I was on vacation with barely any internet connection (It was horrible...))

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, August 31.

From the “Eww – that’s gross!” file
A four-month search for a missing woman in the United States has ended after she was found… buried under piles of rubbish in her own home.

Billy Jean James was discovered by her husband who had been living in the same house as his wife’s corpse. He spotted one of her feet sticking out from underneath the mountain of rubbish and clutter that littered their Las Vegas home.

Kids, all bets are off
The Thai Government is publishing a new series of parenting brochures that instruct families how to keep their children from gambling on football matches after kids as young as 7 were found betting on the soccer World Cup.

The new guide will be aimed at children of primary school age and teens, and will seek to inform them of the dangers of gambling, while trying to motivate youths with “inspiring stories from world-class football players”.

Overheard in the newsroom – Page designer: “We should get a cattle prodder to zap those reporters into getting their stories finished on time.”

Editor: “I think that might contravene some sort of employment standard.”

Who’s having their birthday on August 31?
No one

[Oldschool]

And thanks everyone for all the happy birthday wishes (I know I'm extremely late, I was on vacation with barely any internet connection (It was horrible...))

Welcome back Dariel. :)

On vacation with little to no internet.... deja vu.....

Well hopefully a bear didn't eat your notes - eh ZM? ;):D

OK, as of this posting, I am in a godforsaken hole in the middle of nowhere (which has virtually no internet except for this one rare connection I got). To make matters worse, a bear ate all my notes. I will definitely be back in civilization in...5 days at the max.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 1

White rabbits, white rabbits, white rabbits.

Incredible Journey Unmasked
The famous red land crabs of Christmas Island spend the dry season lying still in their burrows, but when the monsoon season arrives, the crustaceans feel the urge to mate – and trek 5 kilometres to the beach to do it. The crabs, which usually complete just 10 minutes of daily exercise, travel for up to 12 hours a day to their mating grounds.

“Scientists have long puzzled what mechanisms enable the necessary changes to take place in the crabs’ physiology to allow this journey to take place, and how they make such a dramatic switch from hypoactivity to hyperactivity,” said Professor Steve Morris, who is leading the research team.

“Basically, they store sugar in their bodies, which they convert to energy when a certain hormone kicks in.”

[Edit: there was a very long scientific explanation added to this, but I started laughing at this stage… all I could tell was that the crabs get horny and travel a long way to satisfy their urges – not much different to male homo-sapiens!]

Drunken detonation
A drunk Cambodian man accidentally detonated an old grenade that he was using as a pretend microphone, killing himself and three other men, and wounding three women. The rocket-propelled grenade, a remnant of the country’s war history, exploded near a small gathering of revellers.

A police spokesperson said, “The explosion occurred after a drunken man used an unexploded B-40 grenade as a microphone while he was singing and hit it against a wooden stick.”

It was not reported what song he was singing when the grenade exploded.

Overheard in the newsroom – Customer services representative to worried reader: “No ma’am, I can assure you that California has not disappeared into the Pacific Ocean. I think you were reading a movie review.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 1?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 2

Grumpy old men have a reason for being grumpy
A study has suggested that older men enjoy complaining about the young as it boosts their self-esteem. Far from feeling down about the younger generation’s lifestyle and behaviour, the elderly actually revel in their misfortune. For, when given a choice, older people prefer to read negative news about young adults.

Professor Knobloch-Westerwick [edit: cool name!] said, “Older people and younger people have different goals when they use the media, and it shows in what they choose to read. Younger people, who are uncertain about their identity, prefer to read about the accomplishments of their peers to measure their own progress. Older people, on the other hand, have greater certainty of their identity, but living in a youth-centred culture means they may need a boost in self-esteem.

That’s why they prefer to read negative stories about younger people, who are seen as having a higher status in society.

Spiderman burned in loo blast
A 28-year old man suffered severe flash burns when he accidentally blew himself up trying to kill a spider with an aerosol poison. The man was summoned by his wife to deal with the spider she had seen scuttling behind the toilet. Not being able to reach it, the man decided to kill it with bug spray.

However, he was unable to see whether it was dead because the bulb in the bathroom had blown. At this point, he turned to a cigarette lighter to illuminate the room, but in the process ignited the gas fumes and caused an explosion.

The blast was so strong it blew the man off his feet and lifted the loft door off its hinges. A spokesman for Essex Fire Service said: “We’re not currently sure whether the spider got away or not, but there was no sign of it at the scene.”

Overheard in the newsroom – Food critic: “Turns out there’s a fine line between criticism and libel with restaurants”

Editor: “Is that like the fine line between burping and vomiting?”

Who’s having their birthday on September 2?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 3

The lost art of drinking
A man entrusted with helping to sell a US$1.3 million painting said it disappeared while he was in a drunken haze, according to a lawsuit filed by the co-owner of the canvas.

James Carl Haggerty took the painting to a Manhattan hotel on July 28 for a potential buyer to examine. He hung out at the hotel bar and was seen by security cameras leaving the building with the painting. He arrived home to his inner city apartment two hours later, again recorded by security cameras, but the painting wasn’t with him.

Haggerty swears he has no idea what happened after he left the hotel because he was drunk and couldn’t remember.

Snippets
* Philippine authorities sent the bodies of three of the victims in the Manila bus hijacking to the wrong families. The families had identified the bodies in Manila, so funeral workers may have mislabelled them.

* Another traffic jam in Northeastern China stretches 120km and involves up to 10,000 trucks, mainly carrying coal. This new jam stems from an initial traffic snarl-up near Beijing, which had only recently been cleared after traffic restrictions were enforced in the province of Hebei.

* A man who fell more than 120 metres after leaping off a New York apartment block survived after crashing feet first into a parked car. The aspiring actor had leapt from the 39th floor.

* Nigeria could become the fifth most populous country in the world, teetering on the edge of “demographic disaster” unless its stagnant economy expands rapidly. Estimates show Nigeria’s population of 150 million people will swell by another 63 million by 2050.

Overheard in the newsroom – News anchor comments about Raphael Nadal on live TV: “He likes to whack his balls as hard as he can”.

After a few seconds, he realizes what he said and collapses into hysterics.

Who’s having their birthday on September 3?

Happy Birthday Wetheril

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Wetheril!

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Wetheril

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday Wetheril!

[racey]

Happy Birthday Wetheril! Have a great day!

[spencer]

Happy Birthday Wetheril !!!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 6

Apologies: In New Zealand there has only been one story over the weekend – at 4.35am, Saturday 4th September, a 7.1 Richter-scale earthquake shook the South Island, the epicentre being not far from NZ’s second largest city, Christchurch. Fortunately, no lives have been reported lost.

I’ve been keeping abreast of developments in the south, being as I have relatives living in Christchurch, and haven’t felt like looking for funny things to present here.

Headlines: two days later
SHATTERED BUT STOIC!

Trail of destruction

‘They’re going to bulldoze the whole street’

Hundreds turn up at shelters

Like a giant hammer smashing a city

Quake reveals previously unknown faultline

Help from friends acknowledged but not required
The United States military command in Hawaii has offered to provide any help it can to authorities dealing with the Christchurch earthquake, but that, and a separate offer of help from the United Nations, has been declined.

Defence director John Hamilton said, “We are very grateful of the offers, but they are not required. In most cases, an earthquake of this magnitude would inevitably result in high casualties, but we have come out of it fairly well.”

What they said:
“I thought I was in The Exorcist. The bed was leaping off the floor. I’ve never been so scared in my life.” Darfield resident, Sharon Smith

“The cat has run away. He’s probably still heading south.” Christchurch resident, Markham McMullen

“Parts of the city look like they’ve been put in a tumble dryer.” Prime Minister, John Key

“It was like a giant had picked up our house and was shaking it.” Christchurch resident, Cam Gordon

Facts & figures: Measuring the Richter-scale
Magnitude 3 - Equivalent to 29 tonnes of TNT

Magnitude 4 - Equivalent to 1,000 tonnes of TNT

Magnitude 5 - Equivalent to 32,000 tonnes of TNT (Hiroshima was 20,000 tonnes)

Magnitude 6 - Equivalent to 1 million tonnes of TNT

Magnitude 7 - Equivalent to 32 million tonnes of TNT (Largest nuclear device tested was 57 million tonnes equivalent)

Magnitude 8 - Equivalent to 1 billion tonnes of TNT (San Francisco quake of 1906)



Who’s having their birthday on September 6?
No one

[thingirl]

Happy belated birthday, Wetheril!!!!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 7

Streets to make you blush:
For the residents of Bladder Lane or Butt Hole Road, just providing their address could be fraught with embarrassment. The solution was simply to change the name of the road.

In some cases, the change has followed years of ridicule. The inhabitants of Butt Hole Rd had to put up with coach-loads of US tourists visiting to have their photos taken near the road sign. The name, thought to refer to a communal water butt once located in the area, has now been changed to Archers Way.

But not everyone is so concerned. In Northamptonshire, residents asked for Rectory Close to revert to its original name – Cracknuts Lane.

Hay! That’s a bit of bad luck, wot?
A founding member of rock group Electric Light Orchestra was killed when a giant bale of hay tumbled down a hill and crashed into his van. Cellist, Mike Edwards, died after the 600kg bale careered down the steep side of a Devonshire field before it smashed through a hedge and onto the road.

The 62-year old died instantly

Hello. Are you dead? #2
Two women who tried to smuggle their elderly dead relative on a flight from Liverpool to Germany will not be prosecuted because he may have been dead for less than 12 hours when the nature of his ‘health’ was discovered. The women were arrested in April for failing to give notification of death, which is mandatory within 12 hours of a person passing away.

The women placed the dead man in a wheelchair and told airport staff he was merely asleep because the cost of a normal airfare was cheaper than transporting a dead body. But after an airport official was called to determine that the man’s health wouldn’t be compromised by flying, he was actually found to be dead.

Overheard in the newsroom – Reporter: “When I’m plagiarized by the competition, I’ll know I’ve made it.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 7?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 8

Table races away
Perry Watkins, an inventor from Buckinghamshire, is thought to have set a world record for the fastest piece of furniture after driving his dining table down a racetrack at more than 180km/h.

The 47-year old piloted the Queen Anne table, set for a silver service dinner, twice down a 500m track at Santa Pod last weekend. The table reached a top speed of 209km/h, comfortably eclipsing the 148km/h set by a sofa in 2007.

Keeping abreast of the law
When lawyer Brittney Horstman went to visit a client in the Miami Federal Detention Centre, her bra’s underwire set off the metal detector and guards refused to let her in. She reminded them that federal officials had sent out a memo a few years ago telling guards they must grant entry to lawyers wearing underwire bras, but they wouldn’t relent.

So she went to a restroom and removed her bra. They still refused to let her in – because the prison dress code requires women to wear a bra!

Overheard in the newsroom – Copy editor: “This story is depressing.”

Editor: “It wouldn’t be news if it wasn’t.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 8?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 9

Get down with your bad selves
In the northern New Zealand town of Whangarei (pronounced Farnga-ray) police were called to an address after the householder, who wanted to be known only as Izzy, discovered two youths tagging his fence.

Izzy made the pair dance while waiting for the police to arrive and recorded their moves on camera, which he later posted on Youtube. During the dancing, Izzy tells them they will be the laughing stock of Whangarei.

“These two idiots got social justice,” said Izzy. “I made them dance to humiliate them, and I think I achieved that.” Many people who have seen the clip on Youtube have congratulated Izzy on his approach.

Power to the people
A German court has ruled that you can’t fire someone for the theft of 1.8 euro-cents worth of electricity.

Oliver Beel got sacked after charging his Segway, a two wheeled electric vehicle, at work for 1 hour. His boss asked him to unplug, which he did, but 12 days later Beel found himself without a job. The court ruled that dismissal was disproportionate to the offence, citing the plaintiff’s 19-year employment with the company and the fact that other employees habitually charged mobile phones and digital picture frames at the firm’s expense without punishment.

Overheard in the newsroom
Editor: “Is anyone having trouble with email?”

Overworked reporter: “Yes. I keep getting them!”

Who’s having their birthday on September 9?

Happy birthday Darklite

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Darklite

[Oldschool]

Get down with your bad selves
In the northern New Zealand town of Whangarei (pronounced Farnga-ray) police were called to an address after the householder, who wanted to be known only as Izzy, discovered two youths tagging his fence.

Izzy made the pair dance while waiting for the police to arrive and recorded their moves on camera, which he later posted on Youtube. During the dancing, Izzy tells them they will be the laughing stock of Whangarei.

“These two idiots got social justice,” said Izzy. “I made them dance to humiliate them, and I think I achieved that.” Many people who have seen the clip on Youtube have congratulated Izzy on his approach.



You had to know this was coming, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgsfT77Rue4

[Dariel]

You had to know this was coming, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgsfT77Rue4

Oh man. That was hilarious xD

[scout1idf]

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-fc/birthday.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Happy Birthday Darklite http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-fc/birthday.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Darklite

[Snake]

Happy Birthday Darklite

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 10

…And no Monty’s in sight
Two thieves broke into a pet store in Melbourne and stole a monitor lizard and a black-headed python, then went to a MacDonalds outlet nearby.

“They took the python out of a bag and put on a bizarre wrestling show while puzzled customers looked on,” said a police spokesman. “Police arrested the two thieves and the python was taken into protective custody… very carefully.”

Eat in peace
A North Carolina restaurant has put up signs that say, “Screaming children will not be tolerated”.

“It has been a good thing for us,” said the owner. “It has brought us more customers than ever before.” She added that screaming children and their parents are asked to take ‘time-out’ outside the restaurant to calm down rather than being booted out immediately.

Overheard in the newsroom
Editor to young columnist: “Who okayed you to write this weeks food review? I’ve seen what you eat for lunch.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 10?

Happy birthday gbpacker!

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday gbpacker.

[zmflavius]

Happy birthday gbpacker!

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday gbpacker.

[Snake]

Happy Birthday gbpacker

[spencer]

Happy Birthday Darklite!!

Happy Birthday gbpacker!!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 11 & 12

Long life and a strong shake
A strong handshake could mean you are in for a long life, according to scientists.

Grip strength, the speed we walk or get up from a chair and our ability to balance could be indicators of how long we may live, a decades-long study of more than 50,000 people found.

The link between grip strength and survival could be seen in younger as well as older adults. Other tests of physical capability, including tests of walking speed, chair-rising and standing balance, were conducted in volunteers aged 60 years and older.

Football failure
In a Morrocan football club match between FAR Rabbat and Moghreb Fes, a penalty kick at goal was ordered that could have decided the outcome of the game.

Khalid Askri successfully stopped the ball from entering the goal and FAR Rabbat should have won, but the goalkeeper was so busy receiving the adoration of the fans that he didn’t notice the ball spinning back to cross the goal line.

It has been dubbed one of football’s biggest blunders by a goalkeeper

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNb0lHr7CZA&feature=related

The truth will out
It seems there has been a sinister twist to the item about the two taggers made to dance after an irate resident named “Izzy” had his fence tagged. The original report suggested the two youths were caught in the act and held by Izzy until the police arrived. They were made to dance while being filmed for later humiliation on Youtube.

It has now been discovered that the ‘humiliation’ of the youths happened two days after the tagging occurred. Izzy had been so incensed at the defacing of his fence that he had done some detective work of his own to uncover the identities of the taggers.

When he was satisfied he had found who was responsible, he armed himself with a knife, entered the home of the youths and forced them to return to the scene of the crime. They were humiliated while being made to confess the guilty person.

Izzy’s actions have since been described as unwise and unlawful, and police are considering laying charges of abduction against him.

Overheard in a newsroom
Reporter: “A story has just come in about a man who drowned at the lake.”
Editor: “What was he doing there?”
Reporter: “He was a swimmer.”
Editor: “Not a very good one by the sounds of things.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 11 & 12?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 13

Headlines: You can’t make this stuff up!
Army vehicle disappears – An Australian army vehicle worth A$74,000 has disappeared after being painted with camouflage

One-armed man applauds the kindness of strangers

Statistics show that teen pregnancy drops off significantly after age 20

Alton attorney accidentally sues himself

Federal agents raid gun shop, find weapons.

Crack found in mans buttocks

The Learning Centre on Hansen St complained about a man across the road standing at a window for hours and staring at the centre, unnerving the parents of young children. Police have ID’ed the offender as a cardboard cutout of Arnold Scharzenegger.

Utah Poison Control Centre reminds everyone not to take poison

County pays $250,000 to advertise lack of funds

50% off or half price, whichever is less.

When footie anthems aren’t PC
The Archbishop of Melbourne has banned football anthems and popular songs from funerals at the city’s 200 Roman Catholic churches, claiming they are inappropriate and can even make grief worse.

The edict follows a study that found the signature songs for Australian Rules football teams were among the top requests at the city’s funerals. The Archbishop said sports songs were not appropriate for a service that emphasized the solemn nature of death.

Overheard in the newsroom
Frustrated arts reporter: “I can’t go to a gallery opening just because there’s cake!”

Who’s having their birthday on September 13?

Happy Birthday Oldschool!

Happy Birthday Spencer!

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Spencer

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Oldschool!

Happy Birthday Spencer!

[Dariel]

Happy Birthday Oldschool and Spencer!:D

[Elrond]

Happy Birthday, Spencer and Oldschool!

Many, many happy returns.

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday Oldschool!

Happy Birthday Spencer!

[Young Ned]

Happy birthdays, Oldschool and Spencer!

[spencer]

Happy Birthday Oldschool!

[texlaw1992]

Oldschool and Spencer, may you have many more.

[Doolipalally]

Happy birthday Oldschool and Spencer! Hope it's a great day.

[racey]

Happy Birthday Oldschool and Spencer!

[Snake]

Happy Birthday Oldschool and Spencer

[Scarbrow]

Happy Bithday, Oldschool
Happy Bithday, Spencer

A certainly notable day

[Lightwielder]

Happy Birthday, Oldschool and Spencer! Both of you are honored Forum members, and you both contribute so much to this Forum.

(Not even to mention that you guys are both just awesome...:))

[texlaw1992]

I just realized I started playing Sryth 9/11/09 and joined the AG 9/15/09.

Today is smack in the middle of both anniversaries, so here's to a great first year and many more (already renewed through 9/15/11).

[Dariel]

Happy Anniversary, Tex!:p

[thingirl]

Happy Birthday Oldschool!!!!


Hey, slow down a bit, would you? :p:p:p


Happy Birthday Spencer!!!!!!!

;) Here's what I'd get you... (http://images2.thestationerystudio.com/images/products/23815_411BD724-0AA5-04B9-914DD233D64583A2.jpg/Resize?geometry=400x400%3E). Oh, wait, wrong link (http://images2.thestationerystudio.com/images/products/26167_CB2D318A-C59E-284A-AB4F5F761E15A0D1.jpg/Resize?geometry=400x400%3E)! (sorry, I couldn't resist doing that...)

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 14

Up in smoke
A lawyer who videotaped himself smoking joints made with pages of the Bible and the Koran expects to lose his job at the Queensland University of Technology. In the video, posted on Youtube, the QUT staffer, Alex Stewart, compares cigarettes made with pages from the two holy texts.

In the clip, titled Bible or Koran – which burns best? The professed atheist says burning religious books is no big deal. Stewart said via a website that he expected to be sacked from his position at QUT over the furore

“I’m screwed. I think I will lose my job over this. Damn it,” he wrote.

Boy kicks ball 1300km
A missing 7-year old Indian boy has been reunited with his family four months after he climbed inside the wagon of a freight train to fetch his soccer ball.

Mohammed Fazlu was playing by the tracks when a kick sent his ball onto the train, which then began to move. He was found by railway police in a district 1300km from his starting point. But no one could understand his dialect, so he was put into the care of Child welfare services while a search was begun for his family.

Someone eventually noticed the dialect he spoke was native to the district of Karnataka and common in Bangalore, so the search shifted to that area. The boy’s face was shown on local television and got an almost instant result when Mohammed’s 3-year old brother recognised him.

4 months after his initial disappearance, the family shared an emotional reunion.

Overheard in the newsroom
Editor: “What’s this word, ‘ringxiety’, you’ve used in this report?”
Techno-savvy young reporter: “It’s the confusion experienced by a group of people when a cell-phone rings and no one is sure whose phone it is.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 14?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 15

Holdup failure
A robber who tried to hold up a Tauranga supermarket failed to intimidate the store owner and left penniless.

The man entered the Matua Foodmarket in Tilby Drive, Tauranga, about midday and demanded money from the owner, Kamal Kaur. “He pulled something out of his pocket. I could see it wasn’t a real gun because it had a plastic cap on top where you put the water. It was a water pistol,” she said.

The robber continued to demand money but when she called for her husband, who was in the back room, the hapless thief fled.

What’s in a game?
Researchers have found that console games have surprising benefits depending on the type of game it is:

Brain training games – Manufacturers are increasingly marketing “brain-exercising” games for the adult market. This year, however, a test of 11,500 gamers failed to find any improvement in mental performance after people regularly used brain training games.

First-person shooters – They may be angrily condemned by critics as violent, but first person shooters are the games that are most likely to improve reaction time and eyesight. The frenetic pace of these shot-‘em-up games were found to encourage the brain to make faster and more accurate decisions.

Role-Play games – Relaxing and wholly immersive, these games may be addictive, but they do little to aid reaction times and decision making, researchers found.

Overheard in the newsroom
Editor to reporter: “Some people are good at pulling a rabbit out of a hat. You’re good at pulling stories out of your ass.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 15?
No one

[Oldschool]

Thanks to everyone. :)

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 16

Trick or treat?
A Missouri policeman pointed a gun at machete wielding teenager and ordered him to the ground after getting a report that a disturbed person was brandishing a weapon on a city street. The teenager wore a mask and swung a machete that later turned out to be made of plastic.

Other officers arrived and quickly realized the boy posed no threat. He was merely promoting a store called the “Spirit of Halloween”, which he was standing in front of. His ‘threatening’ gestures were attempts to wave at passing motorists and beckon them into the store.

When the past comes back to haunt
In a tit-for-tat display of finger pointing and name-calling, New Zealand politician and Member of Parliament, David Garret, has had a prosecution for identity theft exposed. Ironically, Mr Garret is his party’s law & order spokesman.

In explanation, Mr Garret laughed. “I was a stupid and naïve university student at the time the offense was committed 26 years ago,” he said. “I had read about a method of identity theft used by a character in the novel The Day of the Jackal whereby the name of a dead person was used to obtain a false passport. I foolishly tried the same method to see if it would actually work. It did, but I never used the passport and eventually destroyed it.”

Mr Garret was arrested 21 years after the event when police conducted a sweep of illicit passports after Israeli secret service agents were caught obtaining New Zealand passports using the same method. However, although Mr Garret was prosecuted, the Judge said he had led an otherwise blameless life and reporting his ‘stupidity’ as a crime would have consequences disproportionate to that crime.

He was discharged without conviction, but that hasn’t stopped his political opposites using the event and labeling it as “The Day of the Jackass”.

Overheard in the newsroom
Political correspondent: “Nothing destroys one’s faith in the democratic process like witnessing it in action.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 16?
No one

[spencer]

Sorry for the tardiness of this post, but thank you all for your heartfelt birthday wishes :)

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 17

A pox on your taxes
Politicians in Romania have dropped plans to tax fortune tellers and witches. Maria Campina, a well-known Romanian witch, said it would be difficult to tax the thousands of fortune tellers and witches in the country. She said they made erratic sums of money, and receipts would be difficult to keep.

Romania is in a severe economic downturn and is trying to raise revenue from new taxes, so officials drafted a law demanding the tax from fortune tellers as well as measures to ensure that psychics were held liable for faulty predictions.

But the plans were rejected by Romania's senate. Alin Popoviciu, of the ruling Democratic Liberal Party, who proposed the change, said politicians were frightened of being cursed.

Prince Philip does it again
Prince Philip's risque sense of humour has been well-documented during his years in the public eye. In 1986 he made a remark about Chinese people that was widely condemned as racist; claimed "British women can't cook" in the 1960s; and offended some members of the Aboriginal community by asking if they still throw spears.

And now he’s done it again. Gaffe-prone Prince Philip asked Annabel Goldie, a Scottish politician, about her underwear just after the Pope was welcomed to the UK by the Queen. According to Ms Goldie, the Duke made the remark after meeting Iain Gray, the Scottish Labour leader, who was wearing a tartan tie.

He then turned to her to ask if she had a "pair of knickers made out of this?"

Ms Goldie replied: "I couldn't possibly comment - and even if I did, I couldn't possibly exhibit them."

The Scottish politician appears not to have been offended by the question and later remarked: "It's marvellous to know that humour is alive and well in the royal family."
A Tory source said she gave "hoots of laughter" in response to the Duke's remark.

Overheard in the newsroom
Human Resource Manager conducting a job interview: “In jour time as a journalist, what’s the biggest thing you’ve had to cover?”

Unsuccessful applicant: “My ass!”

Who’s having their birthday on September 17?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 20

Gag attempt on litigious jail inmate
A prison inmate who has filed more than 3800 lawsuits from his cell is being sued himself by the US Government for what it calls frivolous litigation.

Jonathan Lee Riches fires off four legal petitions a day to courts in Kentucky, where he is in jail, and has also started cases in other parts of the US. His targets have included George W Bush, Apple chief Steve Jobs and Britney Spears. He has also tried to take cases against Somali pirates, the long dead Plato and Adolf Hitler.

He even filed a lawsuit against the Guinness Book of Records to prevent them calling him the most litigious man in America.

Holdup failure #2
Mark Smith entered a bank in California with a holdup note that claimed he had a bomb, and demanded $2000 because he needed to help a friend pay the rent. The teller persuaded him to take out a loan instead.

He had started the paperwork when the police arrived.

Overheard in the newsroom
Editor at staff meeting: “If you’re working at home, please save your work to a flash-drive. If you get hit by a bus, we’re still gonna need that story.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 20?

Happy Birthday Thingirl

Happy Birthday Girriwir

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Thingirl

Happy Birthday Girriwir

[Dariel]

happy birthday thingirl! :D
happy birthday girriwir!:)

[Lightwielder]

Happy Birthday to you, Thingirl, and you, Girriwir.

[texlaw1992]

Guess this means you're getting your driver's license soon and all other drivers in Tennessee are going to be very nervous (lol).

[scout1idf]

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)Happy Birthday Thingirl
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce014.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce014.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce014.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce014.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce014.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
Happy Birthday Girriwirhttp://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

[Snake]

Happy Birthday Thingirl

Happy Birthday Girriwir

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Thingirl

Happy Birthday Girriwer

[spencer]

Happy Birthday Thingirl!!!!

Happy Birthday Girriwir

[Young Ned]

Happy birthday, TG! 8-)

[Elrond]

Happy Birthday, Thingirl!

Many happy returns!

[Doolipalally]

Happy birthday, TG! Have a great day.

Happy birthday Girriwir!

[thingirl]

Списбо, Dooli! Thank you, everyone else. ;)

Guess this means you're getting your driver's license soon and all other drivers in Tennessee are going to be very nervous (lol).

I'm 15, not 16. But, I should probably start studying for my permit test... :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

An if anybody is wondering, no, I'm not sure I'm not insane. Or mad, or crazy, or loony, or however you want to put it. Actually, I'm beginning to think I am. Oh, dear...



Happy Birthday Girriwir!

[texlaw1992]

I seem to recall an earlier post where you said you could get your DL at 15 in TN. You must have meant the permit. Still, drivers in TN, watch out ! (lol)

Congrats on turning 15 and earning the privilege of driving, even with supervision. It's a milestone that everyone crosses at some point, though maybe the next generation will need jetpack licenses - who knows?

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 21

Traffic jams: they’re just so passive aggressive
Motorists who are too timid or too aggressive in their driving style are the cause of major traffic jams

While the underlying cause of a jam might be an accident or a bottleneck, it is how drivers react in the cars behind that causes traffic to slow to a halt. Researches say aggressive motorists, who drive too fast and close to the vehicle in front, or timid motorists, who leave too big a gap, send a “wave of deceleration” backwards down the road until traffic grinds to a stop. Such behaviour leads to stop-start traffic jams which infuriate motorists.

Researcher, Dr Laval, found that when drivers change their speed, they cause drivers further back to do likewise with an incremental effect, but if all drivers behaved the same and kept to a constant speed, then this wouldn’t happen.

There’s something fishy about that cook
[Edit: “Whitebait” is a small sprat-like fish considered a delicacy when cooked a certain way… usually in batter and fried as a fritter. In New Zealand, there is a “whitebaiting season”, when Whitebaiters descend on rivers with nets to catch the fish. The delicacy is expensive and highly sought after. Personally, I think they’re over-rated.]

They’re calling it the Great Whitebait Massacre Mystery – At the start of whitebait season a local whitebaiter wanted to share his big haul with a local hospice. The evening meal arrived but with no whitebait fritters, so questions were asked.

The cook said she had never cooked whitebait before and was too proud to ask anyone. Instead of cooking them whole in a fritter, she went about removing their tiny heads and tails but found it too much work, so she decided to throw them all in a blender and mix them with batter. The concoction did not smell or look the best so she decided to bake the mix as a pie. The pie was a failure, so the cook threw it out.

Later that night, curious staff at the hospice could find no trace of the pie.

Overheard in the newsroom
Editor: “Aren’t we doing a story on last night’s drive by shooting?”

Reporter: “No. No one died - and I refuse to write about anyone who thinks a moped makes a good getaway vehicle.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 21?
No one

[Elrond]

Happy Birthday, Bilbo Baggins and Co.

21 Sept. 1937 – J. R. R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, a predecessor to The Lord of the Rings, was first published.

[Doolipalally]

Happy Birthday, Bilbo Baggins and Co.

21 Sept. 1937 – J. R. R. Tolkien's The Hobbit, a predecessor to The Lord of the Rings, was first published.

For a moment I thought you were a day early... :)

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 22

The things you never expect to find in the loo
A 73-year old Polish pensioner was shocked to find a 2 metre anaconda in her toilet bowl in her flat in Wroclaw, southwest Poland, police said.

“After she raised the lid of the toilet seat, the lady saw a huge snake that wanted to slither out of the bowl. She slammed down the lid and called us,” said police spokesman.

“She was very frightened,” he added.

Bargain sale
Investor, Leonard Ross, the owner of what was once thought to be America’s most expensive home listing, has knocked US$70 million off his asking price after filing for bankruptcy proceedings.

The Beverly Hills mansion that once belonged to publishing magnate William Rondolph Hearst is now on the market for the bargain price of US$95 million.

The happiest kids at school
Marlborough police have been left red-faced after a wind change blew cannabis smoke from a burn-off at the station over a Picton school.

The school principal noticed the strong odour while children were in class on Friday morning. He went to the police station, which was about 200 metres down the road, and the fire was promptly put out.

Overheard in the newsroom
Reporter after hanging up phone: “at what point is it okay to tell someone I have everything I need and don’t care about anything more they have to say?”

Who’s having their birthday on September 22?

Happy Birthday Acebrock

Happy birthday Bilbo & Frodo

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Acebrock

[Snake]

Happy Birthday Acebrock

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Acebrock

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday Acebrock

[Doolipalally]

Happy birthday Acebrock!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 24

1 use for a dead possum
A rural Manawatu school which held a possum-throwing contest has attracted criticism from the SPCA and upset many in the community.

Children at Colyton School held possum carcasses by the tail in last week’s contest to see who could throw them the furthest. The SPCA centre manager said the school was not breaking any laws, but that did not mean children should be encouraged to mistreat dead possums.

“It’s morally wrong to throw a dead animal around,” he said.

Not even the internet knows
Top 10 uanswerable questions according to search engine, “Go Ask Jeeves”.
1: What is the meaning of life?
2: Is there a God?
3: Do blondes have more fun?
4: What is the best way to lose weight?
5: Is there anybody out there?
6: Who is the most famous person in the world?
7: What is love?
8: What is the secret to happiness?
9: Did Tony Soprano die?
10: How long will I live?

Overheard in the newsroom
Young reporter comments on the tech-deficiency of old editor: “He keeps blaming his email for losing messages. They don’t just float away. They’re not dandelions, for Christ’s sake.”

Who’s having their birthday on September 24?
No one

[Elrond]

26 Sept. 1983 – Soviet Lieutenant Colonel Stanislav Petrov averted a possible worldwide nuclear war by deliberately certifying what otherwise appeared to be an impending attack by the United States as a false alarm.

Thank you, Lt. Col. Petrov!

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Scout

[texlaw1992]

May you have many more.

[Snake]

Happy Birthday Scout

[Doolipalally]

Happy birthday Scout!

[spencer]

Happy Birthday Scout!!

[racey]

Belated Happy Birthdays to Thingirl, Girriwir and Acebrock!

Happy Birthday Scout!

[Badstench]

Better late that never...

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 26

1 Million dumplings looks like this
The karaoke world’s newest star is about to find out if Russian dumplings are good for the throat – he won a million of them at the Karaoke World Championships.

Edward Pimental of Albuquerque, New Mexico, got the prize after the audience voted him their favourite with the song by Usher, DJ’s Got Us Fallin’ In Love.

Russia’s Julia Kurileva was second with the most adventurous choice of the night – the wordless and eerie wailing of Pink Floyd’s Great Gig In the Sky.

Phone Foolery
Top 10 time-wasting iPhone applications:

1: Talking Tom (Cartoon cat repeats what you say and pulls faces)
2: iBeer (Simulates drinking beer)
3: Fat Booth (Morph pictures of yourself into a much larger body)
4: Cat Piano (Cat playing the piano)
5: Zippo Lighter (Virtual Lighter)
6: Cow Toss (Drag a cow and toss it)
7: Colour tilt (Tilt your phone and the colours change)
8: Hold On! (Press and hold a button for as long as you can)
9: Woohoo (Press a button and it yells woohoo)
10: Rate a fart (Rates the sound of your fart)

Overheard in the newsroom
Guest astrologist asks generally: “What’s the date today?”

Who’s having their birthday on September 26?

Happy Birthday Scout1idf

[Dariel]

Happy Birthday Scout!:D

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Scout!

[Young Ned]

Happy birthday, Scout! I hope it's a fun one.

[Elrond]

Happy Birthday, Scouti!

Enjoy the fun!!!!

[scout1idf]

Now that the day has officially ended, for me at least, I want to start by saying THANK YOU ALL for your birthday wishes.


With that said, I will tell you that I had about the worst birthday I have ever had.

Prior to this one, I would have to say was my 19th. I spent it in the Fort Knox gas chamber experiencing tear gas for the first time.

What makes today's the worst is.....


My wife forgot it. (and I didn't remind, yet)
I haven't heard anything from my parents about it. (No card or call)
My brother and sister in law didn't call or send a card.



I will give them a break though. They are in the process of a major move at the moment.


I am thankful for having this family that at least acknowledges an important time in someones life when they know about it.....


Thank you!!!

[Lightwielder]

Wow, I had few chances to get on at all today. Anyway, Happy Birthday, Scout. (I don't know your time zone, but it's not too late in mine :))

[Oldschool]

It's not much but look at the bright side Scout. If the better half forgot you got one of your own in the bank. If you're like me you never know when one of those might come in handy.


Party favors you don't wanna see at your Birthday Party,




http://thumb10.shutterstock.com.edgesuite.net/display_pic_with_logo/426/426,1172601738,10/stock-photo-a-man-in-a-gas-mask-holds-a-bunch-of-helium-balloons-and-holds-birthday-cake-2771772.jpg

;) Hopefully that elicited the smile and/or chuckle I was going for. :)

[Elrond]

- My wife forgot it. (and I didn't remind, yet)


That's awesome (in its own way). Usually, it is the barbarian, err... I mean man, who forgets his wife's birthday. Now you can keep reminding said wife that she forgot your birthday whenever that happens to you (if it does happen in the first place).

[scout1idf]

That's awesome (in its own way). Usually, it is the barbarian, err... I mean man, who forgets his wife's birthday. Now you can keep reminding said wife that she forgot your birthday whenever that happens to you (if it does happen in the first place).
I've never forgotten a birthday or our anniversary. She now can't claim either.

[Scarbrow]

Belated Happy Birthday, Scout. At least, you can use the belated Happy Birthdays from here on successive years :D

And a very, very belated Happy Birthday to TG.

[texlaw1992]

I got the wife some nice presents on Valentine's Day. She got me "bupkas" (nothing), even though she did remember (like most women, she has a mind for such dates like a steel trap).

Needless to say, now whenever she wants a present, the response is "oh, like the one you got me for Valentine's Day?" (lol)

My mother also never forgets birthdays and anniversaries - however, my siblings and I do not share the same ability, nor do we care all that much.

[Elrond]

On 28 September:

- 1928 – Scottish biologist and pharmacologist Alexander Fleming noticed a bacteria-killing mold growing in his laboratory, discovering what became known as penicillin. (Thank you!)

- 1066 – William the Conqueror and his fleet of around 600 ships landed at Pevensey, Sussex, beginning the Norman conquest of England (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_conquest_of_England).

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, September 30

Bronze Age tourists to Stonehenge
Stonehenge was attracting sightseers thousands of years ago, archaeologists believe, after discovering the remains of a Bronze Age boy from the Mediterranean buried nearby.

The teenager is believed to have been part of a wealthy group that travelled from southern Europe to Britain. He died, probably from illness, and was buried in a primitive grave about a kilometre away while still wearing an expensive amber necklace.

This discovery suggests the stone circle would have been a place of pilgrimage or sightseeing akin to a medieval cathedral as long as 4000 years ago.

“Stonehenge would have been well known across Europe,” said the leading archaeologist Dr Andrew Fitzpatrick. “The visitors may have initially come to trade but visited Stonehenge along the way… It would have been one of the greatest temples of its time.”

The Boy with the Amber Necklace would have travelled to Britain, crossing the English Channel in a primitive wooden boat or canoe, around 1550BC, when the monument was already 1500 years old. His virtually intact skeleton was discovered at Boscombe Down, 1km from Stonehenge. Analysis of a bone fragment indicated he came from the Mediterranean or Iberia.

Assault with a dairy weapon
A man had to take two days off work after being hit by a flying pot of yoghurt in Torquay (Auckland). Antony Booth was hit on the back of the neck by the dairy product, which was thrown from a passing car as he was walking home from work.

He said, “The full carton caught me on the back of the neck and exploded all over me. I didn’t see what model and make of car it was, but I heard a lot of laughing as the vehicle kept going.

“It was apricot flavour,” he added.

Overheard in the newsroom
Print Editor responding to reporter late with his item: “In what Alice-in-Wonderland-world do you live?”

Who’s having their birthday on September 30?

Happy Birthday Srythgm

[texlaw1992]

Happy Birthday Mr. GM!

[Oldschool]

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)Happy Birthday Mr. Yarrows aka GMhttp://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Srythgm

[Snake]

Happy Birthday Srythgm

[scout1idf]

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

Happy Birthday Sryth GM

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gifhttp://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

[Lightwielder]

A sincere Happy Birthday to you, Sir Gamemaster. We cannot comprehend the immense amount of service that you put into the game known to all of us as "Sryth," just to make us happy.

Many thanks to you, Sir.

[Dariel]

Happy Birthday Sryth GM!:D:D:D

[Elrond]

Wow ... It is the GM's birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR GM! WE LOVE YOU!

[spencer]

Happy Birthday (albeit belated now), our most illustrious GM!!

[Elrond]

I miss Badstench's posts. He better be enjoying the outdoors. Because, dang it, this thread needs him.

[racey]

Mr Gm It's my birthday today. How about a nice adventure for a Birthday present? If you don't want to give us a nice adventure how about some adventure tokens for my pockets lol.

Happy Birthday billydakid!

[spencer]

Happy Birthday, Billy!!

[Oldschool]

Well until Badstench returns I'll try to stay up with member Birthdays. And otherwise I'll try to post at least sporadically.

Here goes....

Brazil has elected an illiterate clown into their lower House of Congress. He received more than double the votes of the second place candidate. Known as "Grumpy" his campaign slogan was "It can't get any worse".
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/39495001/ns/world_news-americas

Reflective "death ray" torments Vegas sunbathers. A concentrated beam of reflected sunlight off MGM's Vdara Hotel moves over the pool deck for about a 90 minute period - it can get hot enough to melt plastic and singe hair. Efforts to correct the problem such as installing solar film over the resorts windows are ongoing.
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE6904AR20101001

Famous Birthdays

1626 - Richard Cromwell - Lord Protector of England

1877 - Pancho Villa - Mexican revolutionist

1895 - Hattie McDaniel - American actress and singer. First African-American to win an Academy Award (1939) for Best Supporting Actress in Gone With the Wind. Also the first African-American woman to sing on the radio in America.

1923 - Charlton Heston - American actor and political activist. An Academy Award winner (1960) for Best Actor in Ben-Hur. Other notable films - Planet of the Apes, El Cid, The Ten Commandments

1932 - Dottie West - country singer

1941 - Anne Rice - author

Happy Birthday billydakid and breedenc. :D

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday billydakid

Happy Birthday breedenc

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday billydakid

Happy Birthday breedenc

[smv1973]

Happy Birthday billydakid I hope you have a great day.

[texlaw1992]

May you avoid Pat Garrett for another year (lol).

Note: Pat Garrett - man who (allegedly) killed Billy the Kid.

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday billydakid
Happy Birthday breedenc

[Elrond]

Happy Birthday, BDK!

[Dariel]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILLY:D

Now...are you this billy:
http://i55.tinypic.com/ekiwww.jpg
or THIS billy..
http://i51.tinypic.com/2qi770p.jpg

:rolleyes:

[Snake]

Happy Birthday billydakid
Happy Birthday breedenc

[Oldschool]

Testament to Badstench's prowess is how hard it is for someone as windy as moi to come up with stuff. And that's with the internet a click away.

And speaking of Badstench he comes to mind with this one.

Former Wallabies coach Bob Dwyer was the surprise winner of an online auction for at set of rugby union goalposts that stood in Auckland's Eden Park, the All Black's spiritual home for 50 years, organizers said Monday.

"I haven't been able to find out what he wants them for or how he plans to get them to Australia," said Eden Park marketing manager Tracy Morgan.

Proceeds to help victims of the earthquake in Christchurch.

http://www.rugbyrugby.com/news/story_41010084501.php



And our fellow forumers from the UK come to mind with this one.

This year's World Conker Championships will go ahead after an urgent call for help brought in enough horse chestnuts to avert a crisis, organizers said on Saturday.

Conkers (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conkers) is a game played by two players, each with a conker (horse chesnut seed) threaded onto a piece of string: they take turns striking each other's conker until one breaks.

http://www.france24.com/en/20101002-world-conker-championships-avert-nut-shortage?quicktabs_1=0

Hmmmm........

Thousands of spectators are expected to cheer the players on as they swing conkers on strings at their opponents' nuts in a bid to break them.

Busting nuts.....? Come to think of it a few folks outside of the UK come to mind as well. And talk about Championship caliber.................

The boss at the office and the one at home - the wife. ;):cool:



Famous Birthdays

1864 - Louis Lumière, with brother Auguste made 1st projected moving motion picture in 1895

1902 - Larry Fine, [Laurence Feinberg], PA, comedian (3 Stooges)

1902 - Ray Kroc, American fast food entrepreneur and owner of the MLB San Diego Padres

1922 - Bil Keane, American cartoonist ("Family Circus")

1943 - Steve Miller, musician (Abracadabra, The Joker, Fly Like an Eagle)

1947 - Brian Johnson, musician - lead singer for AC/DC

1951 - Bob Geldof, musician (The Boomtown Rats) and humanitarian/activist

1965 - Mario Lemieux, National Hockey League Hall of Famer

[thingirl]

Happy belated birthday to...

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Happy Birthday Mr. GM http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)


http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Happy Birthday Scout!!!!!!!http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Happy Birthday Billydakid!!!http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

[Scarbrow]

My eyes, my eyes! :eek: :eek:
Seriously, this is getting out of control...

[Snake]

Happy belated birthday to...

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Happy Birthday Mr. GM http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-happy110.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)


http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Happy Birthday Scout!!!!!!!http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-bounce016.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Happy Birthday Billydakid!!!http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)
WOW "eyes pop out of sockets"

[Badstench]

Belated well-wishes to Billydakid.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 12

Pet pooch pays the price
US police responding to a burglar alarm killed the family’s golden retriever then left a nice note on their door:

“Oakland police responded to your residence to investigate a burglar alarm,” the note read. “While circling the rear perimeter, a dog advanced on officers in a threatening manner before being shot and killed. Sorry about that.”

Source – San Fransisco Chronicle

Say what?
Cadbury New Zealand always denied the quality of its chocolate bars would suffer after Kraft Foods bought the company and some of its operations were moved offshore.

That assurance obviously did not stretch to the wrappers. One-liner ‘hooks’ on packaging of one shipment included:

* That’s how you do it smooth pants
* Biscuit my inside crunchy man
* Caramel me with your soft centre fudge guts

One strongly suspects the wrappers were supplied from somewhere in Asia. Cadbury New Zealand assures consumers that the offending wrappers have been destroyed, but we certainly hope the quality control of the chocolate is more vigorous.

Overheard in the newsroom
Reporter to no one in particular: “You know what’s a real worry? Researching a criminal on Facebook and finding out you have mutual friends.”

Who’s having their birthday on October 12?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 13

The things people keep behind their sofa
It’s the strangest of places for a ‘Michaelangelo’ to surface – from behind a sofa in Buffalo, New York, where it had lain for years.

Martin Kober had vaguely been aware of the painting’s existence behind his sofa and began contacting art historians to unravel its history. This eventually brought the artwork to the attention of Antonio Forcellino, an expert on the life and works of Michaelangelo. He was skeptical at first, but after tests were conducted, Forcellino became convinced of the painting’s authenticity.

Forcellino believes the work was painted in about 1545 and passed to two cardinals before it ended up in the hands of a German baroness. She bequeathed it to a lady-in-waiting who was the sister-in-law of Kober’s great grandfather.

Definitive proof that this work came from the brush of Michaelangelo may be hard to come by, but if sufficient numbers of experts agree with Forcellino, that should be enough to make the Kober’s very wealthy indeed. If it is acclaimed as a lost work by the master artist, it could be worth up to US$300 million.

One million reasons to streak
A man arrested after streaking at an Obama rally in Philadelphia over the weekend was trying to win a US$1 million internet challenge. Billionaire Alki David had offered the money to anyone who could get themselves on TV or in a newspaper streaking in front of the President with the name of David’s website on his chest.

Instead, Juan Rodriguez of New York City was charged with indecent exposure, public lewdness and disorderly conduct.

Overheard in the newsroom
Intern: “I can’t interview the widow at the wake. That would be insensitive!”
Old-time reporter: “What are you more afraid of… offending the widow, or offending the editor?”

Who’s having their birthday on October 13?
No one

[Oldschool]

Glad to see you posting in the thread Badstench. Good stuff and duly repped.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 14

There’s cash in them there Hobbit holes
A cash-strapped New Zealand Symphony Orchestra is hoping to be involved in doing the score for The Hobbit movie – something that could earn it as much as NZ$400,000.

NZSO chairman Donald Best said the orchestra was well regarded in the industry and the film industry was always a good place to make money.

“This is no small matter,” he added.

Tattoo story #1
Peter blames his new tattoo on an outbreak of middle-age rebellion, but he didn’t consider that his mid-life crisis would only be reinforced when he opted to get his tattoo while on holiday in Thailand.

The tattoo was of a small banner on his shoulder containing the philosophical phrase, “Know Thy Self”… at least, that’s what it should have read. Instead, Peter is now well set for a future as a librarian, where he can proudly display the banner on his shoulder that reads, “Know Thy Shelf.”

Woman arrives home after 101 years
A Texas woman marked the 101st anniversary of her arrival in the United States as a Mexican-born infant by becoming a citizen. Eulalia Garcia maturey took the Oath of Allegiance yesterday from a federal magistrate in Brownsville.

The agency said she was born in Mexico on February 12, 1909, and arrived in Brownsville with her parents on October 12, 1909. She has lived there ever since.

Overheard in the newsroom
Editor sounding incredulous at a submitted story: “What was this kid even doing with an AK-47?”

Reporter: “Are you kidding? This is Texas, man!”

Who’s having their birthday on October 14?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 15

Who’s flying the plane, then?
The captain of a Qatar Airways flight from the Philipines to Qatar died as it was in the air on Wednesday, forcing the plane to be diverted to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

A statement was later released that said: “We regret to inform that the captain of Flight QR645, operating from Manila to Doha, has passed away.”

We can only hope the statement was not copied from an inflight announcement.

Unnecessary safety tips for cyclists
Most countries in the developed world have a government department dedicated to the health and safety of its citizens. It is the task of these departments to inform their citizens what is unhealthy and unsafe, and to enact laws that will prevent people performing certain actions that might lead to the endangerment of life and physical well being. In recent times, some of the advice handed to people goes without saying.

A small brochure by the New Zealand Transport Agency includes this gem of advice for cyclists.

Tip #1: Do not cycle toward oncoming traffic.

Questionable advertising
An orchardist devised a way to offer people low-cost fruit by visiting the point of production (his orchard) instead of the point of supply (a supermarket). The customer could select his produce and pick it direct from the tree/ shrub/ vine. For just a little bit of effort, they could save up to 75% of the price charged by supermarkets, which is largely devised from transportation costs.

He marketed his orchard under the brand “U-Pick”.

Billboards advertising his orchard bemused many motorists with the slogan, “U-Pick! Just follow your nose”

Overheard in the news room
Reporter listening to a police scanner during a slow news day: “There’s a missing person been reported, last seen wearing a blue coat and red hat.”

Reporter #2: “What? Is Paddington Bear on the loose?”

Who’s having their birthday on October 15?
No one

[Young Ned]

Overheard in the news room
Reporter listening to a police scanner during a slow news day: “There’s a missing person been reported, last seen wearing a blue coat and red hat.”

Reporter #2: “What? Is Paddington Bear on the loose?”

:) I always liked the Paddington books.

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 18

Quotes from Kieth Richards on drugs
“I never thought I was wasted, but I probably was.”

“If you’re going to kick authority in the teeth, you may as well use two feet.”

“It’s the height of impoliteness to turn blue in someone else’s bathroom.”

“I’ve never had a problem with drugs. I’ve had problems with the police.”

“I’ve given up everything at one time or another – which is a trip in itself.”

Cure for the common cold has a silver lining
Scientists are hailing a breakthrough that could lead to one of medicine’s holy grails – a cure for the common cold.

Researches have found they can attach tiny studs of silver to the surface of harmless bacteria, giving them the ability to destroy viruses. They have tested the silver-impregnated bacteria against norovirus, which causes winter vomiting outbreaks, and found they leave the virus unable to cause infections.

The researches believe the same technique could help to combat other viruses, including influenza and those responsible for causing the common cold.

Overheard in the newsroom
I.T technician says to messy reporter: “There’s probably a good reason you’re keyboard isn’t working right, and the fact that it smells like a Big Mac is a major clue.”

Who’s having their birthday on October 18?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 19

The Vatican claims Homer
He’s an idle, pea-brained glutton with a permanent craving for doughnuts and Duff beer, but Homer Simpson has been declared a true Catholic by the Vatican’s official newspaper, the L’Osservatore Romano.

In an article headlined “Homer and Bart are Catholics”, the newspaper said: “The Simpsons are among the few programs for children in which Christian faith, religion and questions about God are recurrent themes. The family recites prayers before meals and, in their own peculiar way, believes in the life thereafter.”

It is not the first time the Vatican newspaper has praised The Simpsons. The paper has also said, “The relationship between man and God is one of its most important themes and that it often mirrored the religious and spiritual confusion of our times.

Something sinister in Swindon
When police discovered that wire cables were being systematically damaged in cars, they feared a vandal whose actions could cause a fatal accident, and launched a high-profile appeal for information.

Wiltshire police began the hunt for the vandals after seven cars had their ABS brake cables cut. They made house-to-house inquiries urging residents to report anyone seen behaving suspiciously, and carried out high visibility police patrols.

The investigation was called off two weeks later after crime officers conducted tests at the crime scenes and discovered the gang of vandals were, in fact, a resident group of grey squirrels.

A spokesperson for the SPCA said: “Squirrels have a tendency to chew through wires of all sorts.”

Overheard in the newsroom
Editor on phone: “Yes, I know what ‘verbatim’ means. Do you know what ‘long-winded' means?”

Who’s having their birthday on October 19?
No one

[Badstench]

The snippets of information below are not intended to over-shadow the birthdays of forum members; they are for general interest only. If you really feel the need to add a comment or observation, please keep such things short and to the point…. This is not a discussion thread.

Having said that, if someone is having a birthday, feel free to be as vociferous and loud in your congratulations as you want to be.

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 20

The police widen their net
A baklava burglar and a man who swiped a bottle of Gran’s Remedy for smelly feet – these are the master criminals who will rue the day Facebook was invented.

Police say several criminals have been caught through information received after appeals on their page on the social networking site – including one shoplifter identified within 34 minutes of his image being uploaded. Constable Sean Drader, an intelligence analyst in Queenstown, said Facebook was not only a good way for the police to connect to communities, but was also a potent crime-fighting tool.

Among videos on the page is one of a man crawling into a kebab shop to steal baklava, a sweet pastry, while another shows a shoplifter pocketing a jar of foot powder.

Mother Nature spoils things for Mad Max
To the makers of the latest Mad Max film, the harsh outback landscapes around the town of Broken Hill seemed the perfect backdrop for a movie set in a post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Unfortunately for them, the area has received unusually heavy rains of late, creating undesirably lush and green vistas. Filming has had to be postponed until the region is once again dry and dusty.

Pick-a-child
A grandfather agreed to pick up his 3-year old grandson from a daycare centre in Orebro, Sweden. It wasn’t until he arrived home after a 30- minute drive that he realized he had the wrong child. Embarrassed, he immediately phoned the daycare centre to explain his error just in time to prevent the local police from organizing a search party for the missing child.

The daycare centre is now looking into its security procedures.

Overheard in the newsroom
Reporter sitting in a darkened office: “This city-wide power outage is the biggest story we’ve had for a while, and we can’t do anything about it because the computers are down. Bring back typewriters, I say!”

Who’s having their birthday on October 20?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 21

The tail of the soggy moggy
Fire crews have rescued a day-old kitten flushed down the toilet by a toddler at a home in Sydney, Australia. The soggy moggy made it through the S-bend but got stuck in a pipe underground.

A camera was put through the pipes to find the kitten, then crews dismantled the toilet and worked their way through a concrete slab with jackhammers toward their target. The family have decided to call the animal “Cain” after the firefighter who lifted the kitten from the pipe.

A fishy story
A huge fish, initially thought to be a barracuda, jumped out of the water and hit a woman kayaker in the chest in the Florida Keys, causing injuries that required her to be taken by helicopter to hospital. She suffered a suspected punctured lung and broken ribs during the freak attack.

Barracudas are swift predators with razor-sharp teeth, but rescuers think the fish might also have been a hound fish, a needle-nosed species that has been know to leap out of the water and impale people.

Overheard in the classroom
One of those sublime teaching moments: In the politically correct educational environment of the 21st Century, teachers are required to get their students to do formal evaluations of their teaching.

Upon handing out the forms, young Vinnie promptly raised his hand and inquired with a straight face, “Sir, how do I spell bastard?”

Who’s having their birthday on October 21?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 22

Heavy-metal hero turns it down
Whisper it: The Godfather of Heavy Metal is turning down the sound. Lemmy, from Motorhead, is slowing his pace.

In two months time, Lemmy will be 65-years old… and 30 years after Motorhead released the pulsating heavy rock classic Ace of Spades, Lemmy has rerecorded the song at half the tempo as a blues number.

A documentary about Lemmy’s life will get its UK premier at the London Film Festival. Titled Lemmy, it celebrates the rocker’s daily consumption of two packets of Marlboro Reds and a bottle of Jack Daniels. In the film, Dave Grohl (the Foo Fighters frontman) observes of Lemmy, “More than any other rock musician, he’s the baddest motherf***** in the world.”

In heavy metal circles, that is high praise.

Hello. Are you dead? #3
A Frenchwoman pronounced “very certainly clinically dead” woke up 14 hours later to declare: “I had a wonderful sleep.”

Lydia Paillard walked into a clinic in Bordeaux on Tuesday for chemotherapy, but after being put on a drip and taking pills, she turned blue and fell into a coma. Doctors could do nothing to revive her and asked the family to consider switching off her life support systems, but they delayed.

During the delay, Lydia was transferred on a respirator to another wing of the hospital where staff noticed signs of brain activity. She woke up a number of hours later.

Family members, horrified they could have okayed their mother’s death, are now considering legal action.

Here’s ‘that’ word again…
After relating the story about the student asking how to spell ‘bastard’, it reminded me that one should never ask for peach juice while holidaying in Turkey. The tourist who does so will be lucky to get away with an indignant glare… “Peach” in Turkish means “bastard”!

Who’s having their birthday on October 21?

Happy Birthday Mattman20, wherever you are!

[zmflavius]

Happy Birthday Mattman20

[Oldschool]

Happy Birthday Mattman

[Young Ned]

Happy birthday, Mattman!

Overheard in the classroom
One of those sublime teaching moments: In the politically correct educational environment of the 21st Century, teachers are required to get their students to do formal evaluations of their teaching.

Upon handing out the forms, young Vinnie promptly raised his hand and inquired with a straight face, “Sir, how do I spell bastard?”

Had I been that teacher, my response would have been "S-A-I-N-T."

[scout1idf]

Happy Birthday Mattman

[racey]

Happy Birthday Mattman20!

[thingirl]

Happy Birthday, Mattman!!!!!!!

[spencer]

Happy Birthday, Mattman!!!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 23–25

Snippets
* A pilot scheme in China’s most advanced city, Shanghai, will give GPS devices to 35 families to keep track of their forgetful grandparents. If the seniors move a certain distance away from their home, a text message will alert the families to their exact location.

* The wife of Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi is seeking a divorce payout of €3.5 million (US$4.87 million)… every month!

* A group calling themselves “Hedonistic International” is conducting protests against high rents in Berlin, Germany. When a real-estate agent shows them to an apartment, they strip naked except for a Mickey Mouse mask and prance around with slogans painted on their bodies saying things like “too expensive” and “rip-off”.

* The Spanish parliamentary commission passed a bill to make all bars and restaurants no-smoking zones, bringing Spain in line with Europe’s strictest anti-smoking nations.

* Greece’s largest government health provider says it will no longer pay for special footwear for diabetes patients because amputation is cheaper than treatment.

* After a decade, the New South Wales state government has declared their drought over. Now farmers are facing the opposite problem: too much rain and floods that could jeopardise their winter crops.

* A single-engine Cessna 172 crashed into a sewage pond at Thames Aerodrome yesterday morning and is probably ruined, a local flight operator says. “it looks a bit sad sitting in the shit-pond at the end of the runway,” he added.

* And while we’re on the subject of sewage, there’s a new pumping vessel in Salisbury, Massachusetts. It travels from boat to boat emptying septic systems. A competition was launched to find the best name for the craft, some of which included: Poop Sloop, Dung Dinghy, Pumpty Dumpty, and Poo Pourrie. The winner was Down Winder.

Who had their birthday on October 23–25 ?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 26

No vice please, we’re British
Scotland yard’s famous vice squad, which deals with prostitution and other aspects of London’s underworld, has changed its title to the rather less dynamic “Serious Crime Directorate 9: Human Exploitation and Organised Crime Command”, or SCD9 for short.

Metropolitan police said the switch had been ordered in part because the word “vice” was thought to have negative connotations. It reflects a growing trend by law enforcement agencies to treat prostitutes as victims rather than offenders.

Parking nightmares
A survey claims to have found that drivers spend almost a year of their lives searching for a place to park. The average motorist loses more than six days a year looking for a spot, according to a poll of 9,000 drivers in the UK. Based on a motorist’s driving life lasting around 50 years, the lost time adds up to 7600 hours or more than 45 weeks.

End of an era
Everybody had to have one in the eighties, but the Walkman’s days are numbered. Sony announced at the weekend that it is to stop selling the personal cassette player in Japan due to falling sales and popularity.

The announcement is seen as the end of an era. Since their arrival to the market in 1979, Sony has sold 220 million Walkmans, and they will continue to sell in countries where demand is still high. However, with digital music players such as iPods now dominating the market, Walkman’s will disappear eventually.

Who’s having their birthday on October 26?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 27

Tattoo story #2
In Queensland, Australia, a man agreed for his friend to tattoo a Yin and Yang symbol surrounded by dragons onto his back, but what he actually got was a 40cm-long penis and a misspelled slogan implying the man is gay.

Police have charged a 21-year old man with two counts of assault occasioning bodily harm and one offence relating to the Public Safety Act.

In the meantime, it will cost the victim AU$2000 to remove the lewd tattoo, which he is expected to get back from his ‘friend’ after he is sentenced.

Octopus oracle dies
Paul the octopus, who shot to fame during this year’s soccer World Cup by picking winners, has died at his aquarium home in Germany. Staff at the Sea Life park in Oberhausen found him dead of natural causes yesterday.

During the Cup tournament in South Africa in June, Paul correctly predicted all games involving Germany and also picked Spain to win over the Netherlands in the final.

2 snippets short of a laugh
* At the 15th International Clown Convention in Mexico City, 700 attendees set out to break the world record for continuous laughing. They managed to keep up the effort for 15 minutes, falling short of the record by 5 minutes.

* A Church of England school has renamed the annual Halloween dance as the “Scary Costume Party” because they didn’t want to be seen promoting the darker side of the celebration.

Who’s having their birthday on October 27?
No one

[Young Ned]

* Greece’s largest government health provider says it will no longer pay for special footwear for diabetes patients because amputation is cheaper than treatment.

Whaaaaat??? I hope the Greeks are organizing massive protests about this. That's inhumane!

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 28

Octopus oracle lives on!
Only hours after Paul the octopus was reported to have died of natural causes, conspiracy theories about his demise began to emerge. Jiang Xiao, the director of the forthcoming thriller Who Killed Paul the Octopus? Claims the creature died before the final of the World Cup was played and had been secretly replaced by his keepers.

“Octopuses all look the same,” Xiao said. “The Germans have been covering up his death and fooling us for a long time.”

She declined to say why she believed her theory, saying only that she had done a lot of investigation… and the revelations would become obvious in her movie.

Love is the drug
Falling in love takes a fifth of a second and produces the same high as taking cocaine, researches say.

The first flush of love stimulates 12 different parts of the brain to start releasing “feel-good” chemicals such as dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopression. The same chemicals are triggered by a dose of cocaine – meaning that the feeling of falling in love is similar to that induced by using the class A drug.

So that’s where I left it #1
An Armenian archaeologist says scientists have discovered a skirt that could be 5900 years old. A fragment of the skirt made of reed was found during recent digging in the Areni-1 cave in southeast Armenia. The archaeologist said the find could be one of the world’s oldest items of reed clothing.

Earlier excavation in the same location has produced what researchers believe is a 5500-year old shoe, making it the oldest piece of leather footwear known to history.

Who’s having their birthday on October 28?
No one

[Badstench]

The Weird & The Wonderful: Strange and interesting news items reported on your birthday, October 29

Swan lake, so hiss off
A male white swan, affectionately dubbed “Aragorn”, might have to be renamed “Sauron”. He has started terrorizing a stretch of the Maitai River in Nelson (New Zealand) by chasing children, harassing walkers and throwing hissy fits at kayakers.

One kayaker, Dian Edmondson, said the swan attacked so fiercely she had to fend it off with a paddle. “He actually physically got out of the water on top of my kayak with wings outstretched and started attacking the kayak with his beak, then he had a go at me. I only managed to keep him at bay with my paddle.”

A representative of the Fish & Games department suggested the swan was only being aggressive in defense of its nest. “The problem,” he said, “is that people are often fooled by swans because of their regal appearance, but they are not domesticated pets; they are wildlife, and they won’t always behave the way humans would like them to.”

Man ‘sleep-shoots’ himself
Police say a Colorado man who turned up at a Boulder hospital with a gunshot wound claimed to have shot himself while asleep. He woke up after hearing a loud ‘bang’ to find he was holding the gun and had been shot in the knee, but he had no recollection of the incident.

Two girls, one dress, big fight
Matthew Vibert gifted his girlfriend with a dress, a rather nice silver cocktail dress, but when their relationship soured and they parted company, she left it at his apartment. Matthew then gifted the dress to his new girlfriend, who wore it proudly to the Temperance Bar in Wellington.

Unfortunately, the former girlfriend was also at the same bar and demanded the dress be returned to her immediately. Someone threw the contents of a glass over the other person, who retaliated by chucking their drink, glass and all, in return… and the fight was on!

In the courtroom, Judge Becroft said, “If surely a bar was inappropriately named on that night, it was the ‘Temperance bar’.”

Who’s having their birthday on October 29?
No one

[Elrond]

1/11/1604 - The first certainly known performance of Shakespeare's tragedy Othello was held in the Palace of Whitehall in London.

1/11/1611 – The first recorded performance of William Shakespeare's play The Tempest was held at the Palace of Whitehall in London.

Gotta love his art and date selection!

[scout1idf]

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http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet006.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Happy Birthday http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet006.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet006.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php) Doolipalally http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet006.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)


http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys/smiley-greet002.gif (http://www.freesmileys.org/smileys.php)

[Doolipalally]

Thank you Scout! It's a grey morning here and I'm off to a mind-numbing meeting, so thanks for cheering me up and making me smile! :)