Liber Taberna: The Blade Square Bookshop

[Blackcrowe]

Passing through any of the four massive archways that lead into Trithiks Blade Square your eye (and ear) is inevitably drawn to the profusion of stalls crowding the central marketplace. The bustle and cacophony of merchants, customers, itinerants, guards, beasts and ne'er do wells inhabiting this place from dawn to dusk can push you along like a cork in a millrace. Eventually you may find yourself buffeted to the Squares periphery. Here you will stand awhile unjostled and avail yourself of its sights and sounds, (attempting in vain not to do likewise for the smells). After ensuring your purse and your person are still attached to each other your eyes will be drawn to the buildings that flank the Square....

You've probably visited many of them.
After all, what excursion to a seedy riverport is complete without a souvenir Goblin War Drum with 'made in Koth' stamped on the bottom?
So after a brief perusal of the outlying buildings you take a deep breath. You square your shoulders. You fix in place your patented 'Mess not with me, for I am deadly like a plague of Duskdragons' face. And you bravely attempt to re-navigate the maelstrom which is the central marketplace.

But wait! Not so fast. You may have visited most of the buildings at the Squares perimeter but have you visited ALL of them?

I think not.

[Blackcrowe]

For behind a crooked yellow door lies a little-known store housing a cornucopia of literary oddments.

The sign above the battered portal reads Liber Taberna: The Bookshop of Blade Square. Messrs Narnes & Bobble Proprietors.

I chanced upon it just last week and was surprised at what I found therein. At the rear of the premises was a counter adorned with a sleeping cat, behind which resided an elderly (and vaguely-familiar) looking chap. Both of whom were only partially visible. For between the counter and the door were a mismatched assortment of shelves, tables and bookcases. All of which overflowed with the written word. Books of varying shape, size, and age. Scrolls, pamphlets, grimoires. Ancient clay tablets. Atlases, histories, biographies, manuals. Stories, fables, bestiaries. Books about Scrabble....well you get the picture. Of other customers, however, there was nary a sight.

The man introduced himself as Wilbur Hastelforth Squibb and provisioned me with the knowledge that his torporific companion was known as Dymox. He then proceeded to enlighten me on the provenance of the wares that surrounded us. "Here", he announced grandly, gesturing towards one of the tables and accidentally sending a scroll plumetting from the counter "are the words, the thoughts, the musings of those who walked this world in the most distant past." The cat stretched, opened an eye, took in the scene and elected to return to its slumber. "There" he continued, gesturing wildly at the same table in an unsuccessful effort not to have his grandiose declamation eroded by a bored feline "are the seeings, the doings, the rantings of those who walk the streets of this very city today".

"Around us", (this accompanied by what can best be described as a big cicrcly double-armed manoeuvre with pike), "is Tysa in literary form. Its life so far. The good, the bad and the Grymlok if you will".

The gesticulations and oratory continued in this fashion for quite some time. Under W.H.Squibbs rather tiring instruction I soon learned that Liber Taberna houses a collection of writings second-to-none. There are books on all subjects. Books with surprising takes on events you'll be familiar with. Books both by and about the most familiar and famous inhabitants of the realm. Not to mention the most infamous. There are even books that are penned by or written in honour of the Adventurers that currently roam Tysa. Who would have guessed just how many Adventurers are of a literary bent? There may even be a book in this shop thats written about YOU.

If any of this has served to whet your appetite and you'd like to peruse the wares of The Blade Square Bookshop yourself then please drop by and sift through the shelves. I've certainly found a few items that I'd like to share.

Unfortunately though, stocktaking is clearly not W.H.Squibbs forte (he appears to leave that to Dymox from what I can see) The books are scattered about in the most random fashion so I've taken the liberty of starting a bibliography . If you find anything worth adding to it please jot down the title and author plus a synopsis of the contents if its called for.

Hopefully this will constitute a quick easy guide to the more interesting of the Book Shops wares. I'll leave it just here on the counter for any interested parties.....

[Blackcrowe]

THE BLADE SQUARE BOOK SHOP BIBLIOGRAPHY



#1 The Chronicles of Daisy Mae by Terran

Several recent pamphlets by a debut author. Described by some critics as 'Comic'.

[Blackcrowe]

#2 How I've Already Killed Everything....Twice by Rokmokkara

Autobiography. (Some scholars have disputed the authenticity of several accounts related within the text describing them as 'utter bish').

[Blackcrowe]

#3 The Adventurers Book Of Bumper Giant Puzzles by M.R.Zekk

[Blackcrowe]

#4 The Art of the KB by Beth Draedon

Thesis on monster-killing for maximum reward.

[Blackcrowe]

#5 Chironomia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chironomia) by W.H.Squibb

[Blackcrowe]

#6 M-Theory (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M-theory) And Its Applications for Stockroom Management Solutions by Tallys

Technical manual for high-volume traders with minimal storage capacity.

[Blackcrowe]

#7 1001 Ways To P*ss Off A Man in A Red Helmet by Scout

Factual Bestseller.

[Blackcrowe]

#8 Another 1001 Ways To P*iss Off A Man In A Red Helmet by Scout.

Manuscript draft of eagerly awaited sequel.

[Badstench]

#9: The Proper Sequence for Building Your Own Igloo, beginning with world domination, by Subzero

A handy little notebook for the aspiring despot and home handyman

[texlaw1992]

"Siggy and Ildy: A Love Story" by MP Fighter.

[Tetracapillactomist]

:D:p OK... :-)
#11 -
"Love and Hate Among the Rocks - An Autobiographical Tale by Sigynna O." - by Sigynna Oiorpata, Poet Laureate

#12 -
"How to Treat the Consequences of a Night's Encounter with Varsil Demonsoul - An Instructional and Edifying Booklet for the Ladies of the Court, As Well As Tavern Wenches" - by Sigynna Oiorpata, MD

#13 -
"Make Love, Not War" - an inspirational pamphlet by Lancelot of Texas

#14 -
"War and Peace More War" - by Nathair ap Dubh aka Makhazarhael aka Mak

#15 -
"Crime and Punishment Getting Away with It" - by Beth Draedon

[scout1idf]

#16: "Abuse of the Undead, My after-life as a whipping boy" by C. H. Rider

A story of years of abuse at the hands of adventurers.....

[Tetracapillactomist]

Ha... That reminded me of something else, some place else, in a parallel universe...

"In Defence of the Undead and Their Inherent Rights - A List of Complaints, Unabridged"
- Full Speech Delivered In Front of the Tysa National Assembly (T&A TNA), the UHDL (Undead Horde Defence League), and the UHRC (Undead Humanoid Rights Commission)
by the Right Honourable C. H. Rider, Anno Domini Srythak [...] (date missing from title page and frontispiece)
*****

Also, Badstench's entry of Subzee's book made me imagine the opening sentence... "To build an igloo, first take one world, (evilly) dominated..." XD

[Oldschool]

Over in the music "section" adjacent to the museum which just happened to put several "historic" items from merchants on display, including shirts and other items.

Several versions of a related song (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODpvBqZk08s) along with a history (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/See_See_Rider) of the song. However, the debate still ensues over whether the song is related to C.H. Rider or those that would take advantage of him for personal gain.

:cool: ;)

[Tetracapillactomist]

For some reason ... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ... that made me think of the Shipp sisters' "Sea Line Woman" ....

[Badstench]

#17: The Use of Rope, By Judge Gallows

A Boys Own almanac of sailing knots and noose making

[scout1idf]

#18 "Beating My Addiction..." by Ildraria

The story of how a dragon battled her addiction for BBQ'd adventurers....
published 02/28/2012

#19 "My Failure...." by Ildraria

The true story of how a dragon couldn't beat her addiction......
published 02/29/2012

[Tetracapillactomist]

Hahaha!... Did you get burnt, Scout?... :D
Right... #20. "A Spot of Tea and a Tender Sarnie" - Children's Rhymes & Adventurer Recipes - by Ildraria, of course... And very proper, too. XD

(I'd be mindful of her addiction if I were ever offered a sandwich by Ildy - and so should you all! ;) Ugh - can you say 'prion?')

[edit] FYI: The tea's okay. It's safe. ;) BYOC (bring your own cookie).

[Badstench]

#21. Acronyms and Antonyms. By Mathias Squib

A Thesis on Tysian language as implemented by the Lord Sage of the Royal Court in conjunction with His High Selfness Hurenon, Mage and Magister of Talinus. (It's total bollocks, but what can you say against someone of such esteemeed standing. Nothing, lest you want to be hanged by a Judge for wont of a better argument than truth, and what is truth? I'll tell you what truth is; truth is the evidence before your eyes. Truth is a spoken word told in honesty, the honest truth being that words spoken cannot be taken away. Herein lies the honesty of Men, whether they be ordinary or powerful).

A sequel to Synonyms and Similes