PDA

View Full Version : 12 Badstench Moments


Badstench
07-31-2009, 09:31 AM
A little while ago I finished a series of interviews with various Players of Sryth. At the conclusion of the series, smv1973 suggested I should present an interview with myself. This suggestion wasn’t unappealing, but I soon recognised that the answers to my own questions were long, rambling, and completely self-absorbed.

I decided not to do it.

Instead, I have searched through the old forum and pulled out twelve snippets of posts from conversations past. Some of the quotes have origins so old that, to some of you, they will seem entirely new, while other quotes will be instantly recognisable..

I hope you enjoy this journey back in time.
__________________________________________________ _______________

Moment 1:
Five prizes you’ll never see offered from one of the GM’s raffles.

1) Magic Box of Consolation – From within, a soothing voice repeats, “There, there. Better luck next time”.
2) Magic Cup of Holding – Specially designed for the holding of tears.
3) Magic Folding Brick Wall – Good for bashing your head against.
4) Magic Scroll of Notification – Lists all the items you could have won, but didn’t. This scroll is impervious to being trashed, burnt, buried or given away.
5) Magic Scroll of Malicious Notification – Lists all the people who did win, what fantastic items they won, and how incredibly happy they are. Like the Scroll of Notification, this item is impervious to destruction or loss.

From Sryth General thread, “New Raffle”, Oct 28, 2007

Moment 2:
“Mathias! Your mule has just crapped on my carpet again!”

From fan fiction story, “Judgement Day”, Jun 16, 2007

Moment 3:
One of the traits humans possess is very akin to that of most predators in the animal kingdom... they are territorial by nature. Combine this with intelligence, and you get someone who is prepared to die for their country. In other words, people sort themselves into "gangs" who believe in "turf rights", and they will fight and die for their piece of ground.

Until mankind is ready to put aside the territorial nature that is the breeding ground for jealousies, racism and war, we will not evolve to an enlightened state.

From the General thread, “And To Follow Religion, Politics!” Oct 31, 2008

Moment 4:
Hi Oldschool. Welcome to the game, which includes many "pen and paper" players from years gone by. I agree with you; the game of Sryth is not unlike playing those past games, which is why I got hooked on it.

Welcome to the forum also. New blood brings fresh ideas and a chance for us “old salts” to brag our wisdom/ experiences.

Watch out for a couple of characters, though... that Varsil Demonsoul, for example. He's a tricky one.

From the General thread, “Introduce Yourself”, Oct 10, 2008

Moment 5:
The Sryth Olympics

Featuring:
1) Jousting - Heroes of the land, test your metal. Utilize that new skill and knock some idiot off his steed before he can do the same to you!
2) Marathon - Run, run some more, then run some more. The winner is the first person who doesn't collapse from exhaustion. Did I mention that it was compulsory to wear Plate Mail Armour?
3) Javelin Throw - A javelin is another type of spear. If you can chuck a spear, sign up.
4) Discus Throw - A discus is another type of throwing thing, only round like a plate. You score more points if last night’s dinner remains on the plate when it lands.
5) Shotput - Yet another throwing game. Giants are especially good at this, being that they habitually chuck rocks! If you think you're as strong as a giant.... we have a doctor who can lobotomize you... but give it a go, anyway!
6) Rowing - Don't bother to enter. The course has been set on the placid waters of Meglasmire. If you don't die of swamp disease while trying for the finish line, the Kraken will get you.
7) Unarmed Combat - This could prove interesting. However, the rules are quite complicated. The most complicated rule is that you have to beat your opponent without killing him.
8) Gymnastics – Say what?
9) Swimming - "Drowning", by any other name.

From the General thread, “The Olympics, Sryth Style”, Aug 10, 2008

Moment 6:
Anyway... today is Saturday, midwinter, the sky is grey with rumbles of thunder threatening a good dollop of rain. All-in-all, it's a good day to do nothing but vegetate with my computer. I don’t have to be anywhere or do anything.

Except: The vacuum cleaner is staring at me accusingly, the kitchen sink has disappeared beneath a pile of dishes, and the trash needs taking out. My bedroom could do with tidying, clothes need to be washed in readiness for work next week, and my refrigerator is forlornly devoid of anything healthy to eat. The light shades need to be taken down and all the dead insects removed from where they expired after being fatally attracted to the hot bulb. I also need to get some writing done.

Sigh.

The next spawning of Tarramyre is 3 hours away... I'll see you all there!

From the General thread, “A Day In The Life Of...”, July 19, 2008

Moment 7:
It’s beer drinking weather! What this means to my playing of Sryth is that I sometimes play after a few too many beers than is good for me.

I’m pissed, in other words.

Playing while under the influence is not always a good idea; The Tsaril Leader has killed me more than a few times by me risking battles I wouldn't normally.

From the General thread, “Playing Under The Influence”, Feb 4, 2008

Moment 8:
I was an AD&D player; Dungeon Master, too!

I had all the rule books, bought some of the updated books, then realised I didn't really need the updates. AD&D is/was a game of the imagination. As long as the basic rules were understood, individual milieus could progress according to the imagination of the creator (Dungeon Master)

Computers became faster and better, and pretty soon I was immersed in text RPG’s on a screen. My AD&D buddies moved on with their lives until I was a lone voice. I took to writing as compensation

Did AD&D spark my literary efforts, or were my literery efforst the catalyst for me playing AD&D? How long is a piece of string?

The fact remains, Gary Gygax made an impact on my life. The company that was born through his game (TSR inc) saw me spend more dollars than I should have during my teen years. My parents might have gone, "tut tut", but you know... I wasn't doing drugs, I wasn't getting drunk, I wasn't getting girls pregnant (not for lack of wishing), and I wasn't getting known by the police.

To Gary Gygax, you made an impact on my life. I recognise that, and recognise you.

Rest in peace.

From the General thread, “Gary Gygax”, Mar 8, 2008

Moment 9:
Quote from Dr Who: “It’s one of those wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey sort of things!”

From the General thread, “Quotable Quotes”, Jan 9, 2008
Also used in the old forum as Badstench’s signature

Moment 10:
A nation needs its heroes; those few extraordinary men and women who do something that emblazons their name forever on the history of a country.

The world is full of celebrities, but being famous does not automatically bestow “greatness”.
.
When a nation is fortunate to have a living hero counted among its citizens, a person acclaimed by all the world, then the death of that person is a noteworthy ripple in the ocean of our existences.

From the General thread, “Heroes”, Jan 12, 2008

Moment 11:
“Here lies Judge Fury
...And he’s not very happy about it!”

From the Sryth General thread, “Epitaphs”, Oct 31, 2008

Moment 12:
I have often been accused of espousing opinions of non-popular belief.

What bollocks!

From the General thread, “The Soapbox”, Sept 13, 2008
__________________________________________________ ______________

psychoadept
07-31-2009, 08:15 PM
3) Magic Folding Brick Wall – Good for bashing your head against.


This made me laugh out loud...

Taleria
08-23-2009, 06:03 AM
LOL! You made some excellent choices for quotes. I especially loved moments 1, 6, 10, and 12. I rep you.

Edit: Darn. They tell me I need to rep other people. *sigh* Well, it's the thought that counts, I suppose. I'll try to remember to come back here once I've found occasion to rep a couple people.

Badstench
11-17-2009, 09:58 AM
Moment 13:
On Time & Money: I have discovered that there is a direct correlation between time and money. However, despite what has become a common aphorism, Time is not money! Time is something within which money can be made, and then be made to disappear.

Elrond
11-19-2009, 10:07 PM
Moment 13:
On Time & Money: I have discovered that there is a direct correlation between time and money. However, despite what has become a common aphorism, Time is not money! Time is something within which money can be made, and then be made to disappear.

All hail our legendary philosopher: Confuseus!

Good one, Badstench! Repped!

texlaw1992
11-20-2009, 03:40 AM
Yes, I too spent a small fortune on TSR products growing up. At least my nephew now gets a chance to enjoy the collection.

I got handwritten letters from both Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson ages ago when I wrote to them about items that had appeared in Dragon magazine. I wish I still had them, but they were lost during the move to Texas.

RIP GG.

Badstench
11-20-2009, 05:22 AM
Texlaw... you've reminded me of my Dragon Magazines that got lost in a house-move. I had a lot of the early mags that were dedicated to D&D before other games became prevalent.

If I remember correctly, I had issues 6-53 (bar a few).

I also had a subscription to a magazine of rock encylopaedia... it was one of my prized possessions, but the monetary compensation awarded for the moving company 'losing' that particular box will never compensate for the items themselves. They were irreplaceable!

texlaw1992
11-20-2009, 06:04 AM
I can't remember the numbers of Dragon magazine I had, although they probably started later than 6. However, I found a whole bunch of original "Judges Guild" magazines at a garage sale (from the first onward). They're long gone now, so I don't know if they were worth anything. I also had a large number of "White Dwarf" magazines long before they went miniature. Heck, I can still remember looking through the original "Blackmoor" at a hobby shop. I haven't looked at the newer D&D stuff in years, but somehow it lacked the magic of the older magazines and modules.

Oldschool
11-20-2009, 01:35 PM
Dragon and White Dwarf remember those. White Dwarf was kinda hard to come by unless you had a supplier which I did. I don't recall Judge's Guild mags but I seem to recall some Dungeons and Dragons Judge's Guild "stuff". Campaigns and/or modules maybe?

Anyone remember the Dungeon magazines and again I seem to recall a Dungeoneer(ing)? magazine.

scout1idf
11-20-2009, 06:24 PM
..............Anyone remember the Dungeon magazines and again I seem to recall a Dungeoneer(ing)? magazine.
I have some old Dragon magazines. Love the cartoons. As for Dungeon, I never bought any. I didn't have a use for the content at the time.

texlaw1992
11-20-2009, 11:54 PM
I had a number of Dungeon magazines, but frankly I preferred the big module they always used to put in Dragon. The occasional solo adventure in Dungeon was fun.

Yes, Judges Guild put out a number of great modules. My nephew is now enjoying some of them. There was one called "Tower of Elbrith" - still my favorite solo module. The original "Book of Treasure Maps" by JG was great.

Badstench
08-18-2011, 12:07 PM
No. 14: Time is a one-way-street with a sign that says, "U-Turns Not allowed".

Lightwielder
08-22-2011, 10:24 AM
No. 14: Time is a one-way-street with a sign that says, "U-Turns Not allowed".

...but at least we have the rearview mirrors. :)