Badstench
08-21-2009, 01:43 AM
This isn't so much a story as a one-sided conversation that details an unfortunate occurrence involving a mule, a man, and a lot of water
I tend to write things like this when I have nothing else happening in my head.
**********************************************
FIDDLESTICKS
“Fiddlesticks by name. I’m very pleased to meet you.
“What? Yes, that’s right. I said ‘Fiddlesticks’.
“Eh? Erm, I completely agree with you, good sir, but now is not the time for a pleasant discourse on the nature of shameful names and humour-ridden parents, is it?
“I would gladly explain the reasons behind the name, sir, but a long rope would be better suited to this occasion rather than a long story, yes? I can tread water for only a little more time before I sink and drown. If you would be so good as to throw down the bucket, I’d be…”
Clatter, rattle, thonk, sploosh!
“Irk! You might have given me some warning, sir! What good is the bucket if it knocks me senseless? Nevertheless, I am grateful, sir, and would be more grateful if you could see your way to pulling me up?
*
“My thanks to you, good sir. My gratitude is given wholeheartedly along with my apologies. I did not mean to invade your well, but rest assured that it was not soiled or sullied by need of bodily function. Why, I would drink of this bucket to prove it if you… what? Oh, erm… alright.”
Sip, slurp, swallow, gulp!
“You see? I am a man of my word, sir, and not afraid to confirm bold words with bold actions. Thus, I drink the water to prove the purity of your well and of what I speak. Words, they say, are the making of a man, and even though I am not blessed with the ability to string words together in a manner that might pay full homage to your gracious deed, I can admit to being made eloquent by the realization that I am not drowned.
“What bliss, what fair blessing of happenstance and doing! The air has never smelled sweeter, nor the sun looked brighter. I am alive!
“Forgive me if I look foolish dancing this jig, good sir, but you cannot know the heights to which my spirit soars. I had thought myself a corpse but scant few minutes past, and now I am alive!
“I suppose an explanation is owed. I am in your debt, sir, and an explanation is the least you deserve. It was a long ride from Marl’s Wood, you see, and your well was a welcome sight to this parched and thirsty traveler.
“It’s true, I suppose, I should have sought you out before availing myself of your water, and retrospect is a grand thing when the proof of fate is examined, more so when fate is a trickster with a mule as its utensil. It thirsted, too, and by indignation or plain ornery nature, the mule nudged for its turn at the bucket when I was fully stretched to receive it. A-plummeting I went, and a-wailing too!
“Still, all’s well that ends well… which is quite an appropriate saying for this situation, don’t you think?
************************************************** ***************
The chap named Fiddlesticks then went on to explain a heck of a lot more, his voice becoming an endless drone of monotonous blah-blah, and that's when I lost interest in eavesdropping and went off to do a spot of fishing.
I tend to write things like this when I have nothing else happening in my head.
**********************************************
FIDDLESTICKS
“Fiddlesticks by name. I’m very pleased to meet you.
“What? Yes, that’s right. I said ‘Fiddlesticks’.
“Eh? Erm, I completely agree with you, good sir, but now is not the time for a pleasant discourse on the nature of shameful names and humour-ridden parents, is it?
“I would gladly explain the reasons behind the name, sir, but a long rope would be better suited to this occasion rather than a long story, yes? I can tread water for only a little more time before I sink and drown. If you would be so good as to throw down the bucket, I’d be…”
Clatter, rattle, thonk, sploosh!
“Irk! You might have given me some warning, sir! What good is the bucket if it knocks me senseless? Nevertheless, I am grateful, sir, and would be more grateful if you could see your way to pulling me up?
*
“My thanks to you, good sir. My gratitude is given wholeheartedly along with my apologies. I did not mean to invade your well, but rest assured that it was not soiled or sullied by need of bodily function. Why, I would drink of this bucket to prove it if you… what? Oh, erm… alright.”
Sip, slurp, swallow, gulp!
“You see? I am a man of my word, sir, and not afraid to confirm bold words with bold actions. Thus, I drink the water to prove the purity of your well and of what I speak. Words, they say, are the making of a man, and even though I am not blessed with the ability to string words together in a manner that might pay full homage to your gracious deed, I can admit to being made eloquent by the realization that I am not drowned.
“What bliss, what fair blessing of happenstance and doing! The air has never smelled sweeter, nor the sun looked brighter. I am alive!
“Forgive me if I look foolish dancing this jig, good sir, but you cannot know the heights to which my spirit soars. I had thought myself a corpse but scant few minutes past, and now I am alive!
“I suppose an explanation is owed. I am in your debt, sir, and an explanation is the least you deserve. It was a long ride from Marl’s Wood, you see, and your well was a welcome sight to this parched and thirsty traveler.
“It’s true, I suppose, I should have sought you out before availing myself of your water, and retrospect is a grand thing when the proof of fate is examined, more so when fate is a trickster with a mule as its utensil. It thirsted, too, and by indignation or plain ornery nature, the mule nudged for its turn at the bucket when I was fully stretched to receive it. A-plummeting I went, and a-wailing too!
“Still, all’s well that ends well… which is quite an appropriate saying for this situation, don’t you think?
************************************************** ***************
The chap named Fiddlesticks then went on to explain a heck of a lot more, his voice becoming an endless drone of monotonous blah-blah, and that's when I lost interest in eavesdropping and went off to do a spot of fishing.