Age of Empires

[Badstench]

I made a comment that i'd been playing Age of Empires; the next day I was somewhat stymied to find 7 messages in my inbox that asked questions relevant to that game.

In answer...

1) I think it's the best tactical/ strategy game EVER! (Big call)

2) I prefer series 2, "Age of Kings"

3) I play the pre-set scenarios. They were conceived to challenge the single player.

4) I'm not interested in playing online.

5) If I was to ever play a strategy game online, it would be "Risk". I love this game!

[Badstench]

So... this post comes in the way of a Badstench rant.

1) What is it with you americans? Why do you have to do things in your own peculiar style?

2) Following from the above, why do you put your dates arse about face? You put the order of the sequence illogically; month, day, year. What's that about?

3) You voted to have English as your native tongue, and then you changed the way things were spelled. What's that about?

4) The English were trotting horses to the left long before you decided to drive on the right. What's that about?

5) Why do I find myself wondering why american citizens... the normal people... have no idea where New Zealand is? What's that about?

6) Why can I name more state capitals than your average american? What's that about?

Please... do not think I'm being disrespectful. However, an american once said to me... "Are you dissin' us?"

I just about wet myself laughing. "Dissin"?

Ya, bra... like, give cause for dis, you know?

forget all of the above... it's just Badstench ranting.

And I know the answers, pretty much.

However, you may not be aware that the Leading citizen of New Zealand, the Prime Minister, was a guest of David Letterman recently. We knew he was going to be on the show long before you did, and I, for one, cringed at the knowledge.

David Letterman is part of the american entertainment society... the same society that revers celebrities who can sing or act or make lots of money. The americans who actually "do" stuff are largely unheralded.

In effect, the american celebrity circuit draws attention away from what really matters.

So, having our Prime Minister as a guest on the Letterman Show was, for me, greeted as a two-pronged fork.

John Key (New Zealand's elected leader) was asked 10 questions. I present these to you as follows: The top 10 reasons you should visit New Zealand

10) Auckland airport now has a cinnabon (if you don't know what this is, ask me privately).

9) We have the loosest slot machines in the Pacific Rim (which is actually true, because New Zealand has a gambling law which states.... oh, never mind... come visit. You'll find out.)

8) It's only a convenient 20 hour flight away... from everywhere.

7) It's like England... without the attitude!

6) In New Zealand, Lenno's on at 9 o'clock (a jibe at David Letterman)

5) Get the whanau together, stay in a bach, crack open the chilly bin and slap on the jandals. (indecipherable unless you're a kiwi).

4) Visit in the next 30 days, I'll personally pick you up at the airport. (The Prime Minister said this, but Badstench will back it up).

3) 70% of our energy is generated through renewable hydro power. (They don't all have to be jokes!)

2) We drive on the left side of the road... like the British... and Lindsay Lohan.

1) Unlike most of the world, we still like Americans.

[zmflavius]

I used to play Age of Empires 2. Then my computer crashed deleting my record. Now, only my little brother plays, and he can't win a game on easiest without spamming cobras.

And I also know where New Zealand is on the map. Also, Zealand is in Holland.

[thingirl]

I know where New Zealand is, it's off in the SE direction from Australia. I think that if you go straight east from Sydney, you will hit somewhere in NZ (Sorry, IDK much about NZ geography).

As for spelling, I ought to keep quite, but spell check is telling me I have "Zealand" spelled wrong, even though I spelled it the same way the native did.

[Badstench]

In actual fact, the original spelling comes from a province in Holland... "Zeeland".

I'm not really sure how it came to have an 'a' in it.

This reminds me of a joke I heard... an american sitcom...

"New Zealand? What happened to the old one?"

Anyways, for your edification, the natives of New Zealand actually call it, Aotearoa (pronounced Ow-tear-roar), which loosely translates to "Land of the long white cloud".

[Lightwielder]

2) Following from the above, why do you put your dates arse about face? You put the order of the sequence illogically; month, day, year. What's that about?

3) You voted to have English as your native tongue, and then you changed the way things were spelled. What's that about?

4) The English were trotting horses to the left long before you decided to drive on the right. What's that about?

I'm betting that a few of those traditions came about from our separation from England via the Declaration of Independence. People didn't like the way England was doing things, and we were a different country after that.

Just my speculation.

[thingirl]

Yes, us stubborn Americans. And I can't spell in British-English either.

[Oldschool]

2) Following from the above, why do you put your dates arse about face? You put the order of the sequence illogically; month, day, year. What's that about?

3) You voted to have English as your native tongue, and then you changed the way things were spelled. What's that about?

4) The English were trotting horses to the left long before you decided to drive on the right. What's that about?

And I know the answers, pretty much.



Nice post.

You mean you know the answer (singular), pretty much.

That being, that us septics can't help it if you "guys" have it all wrong. ;) :cool:

Just kiddin' and I know you said you know the answers and I never really thought about it so for anyone else that's interested.....

Actually the US military uses what I assume by your post is the "commonwealth" (for lack of a better term) format for dates such as 02 OCT 09. However, when we say a date it's along the lines of "the second of October o-nine". Keep in mind I'm American, but it makes sense chronologically to put the month first.

Regarding the spelling a little googling indicates that Webster may be to blame. British spellings follow(ed) Samuel Johnson's Dictionary of the English Language while American spellings follow(ed) Noah Webster's An American Dictionary of the English Language.

As far as driving, googling again indicates that a lot of countries drive on the right side. Since America also had other European settlers perhaps that's the reason. It seems the reasons for left side walking and horse riding in the old days come from the fact that most folks are right-handed. It was done to keep the sword away from possible foes as well as other reasons.

Keep in mind a big chunk of the above comes from the internet and we all know how dubious that info can be sometimes, although it all seems plausible.

Anyway, does this "jive" with what you have in mind?

Thanks for an entertaining and thought provoking post.

[Badstench]

Thanks for taking the time to ferret out the facts, oldschool. I didn't know that about the US military... it's comforting to know that the most technologically advanced military force can, at least, get the date right :rolleyes:.

The 'riding/ walking' on the left explanation has a common denominator with many things; access to weapons affecting many of our 'acquired' customs, like saluting, shaking hands, etc.

Damn that Webster! Didn't he recognise that language adds the colour to a civilization? By bastardizing his own language, what did that make of himself, not to mention all his countrymen. Jolly bad show, that man! :eek:

[thingirl]

I try to spell recognise with a "s".

[Young Ned]

3) You voted to have English as your native tongue, and then you changed the way things were spelled. What's that about?

It's called "spelling reform". You should try it some time... ;)

5) Why do I find myself wondering why american citizens... the normal people... have no idea where New Zealand is? What's that about?

6) Why can I name more state capitals than your average american? What's that about?

Poor education system.

However, you may not be aware that the Leading citizen of New Zealand, the Prime Minister, was a guest of David Letterman recently. We knew he was going to be on the show long before you did, and I, for one, cringed at the knowledge.

David Letterman is part of the american entertainment society... the same society that revers celebrities who can sing or act or make lots of money. The americans who actually "do" stuff are largely unheralded.

In effect, the american celebrity circuit draws attention away from what really matters.

So, having our Prime Minister as a guest on the Letterman Show was, for me, greeted as a two-pronged fork.

I did know that, because my wife and I watch Letterman frequently. Good point about the celebrity circuit. One of the many reasons I pay almost no attention to it...

6) In New Zealand, Lenno's on at 9 o'clock (a jibe at David Letterman)

A jibe at Jay Leno, surely?

5) Get the whanau together, stay in a bach, crack open the chilly bin and slap on the jandals. (indecipherable unless you're a kiwi).

Got that right. :D

I'm betting that a few of those traditions came about from our separation from England via the Declaration of Independence. People didn't like the way England was doing things, and we were a different country after that.

Just my speculation.
I'm fairly sure you're right about that. There were definitely some hard feelings against Britain after the Revolutionary War, and I'm sure many differences came about as a way of further establishing our independence of Britain's way of doing things. I believe that's when we started drinking coffee instead of tea, for instance.

[Badstench]

I'm playing Age of Kings

Random map... The Black Forest

Difficulty set to 'hard'

4 opponents teamed against me

I've wasted 3 of them

The fourth is proving very difficult

They have priests who convert my knights when I attack.

they have cannoneers who waste my archers when I move in to kill the priests.

They have camel cavalry that waste my knights when I move in to strike at the cannoneers

They have bombadiers that waste my seige engines.

They have 4 of the 5 available religious icons, which means they are accumulating gold on which they can build replacement armies.

They have peasants in abundance, even though my strategy has become one of hunting them down so they can't make more resources.

I attack, and attack, and attack... the theory being to whittle them down to a point where an eventual attack will tip the balance.

So far, it hasn't worked.

In the Black Forest, we all have a seemingly endless resource of wood, so they can convert it to gold to spawn more priests, camels and cannoneers.

I've been playing this scenario for two weeks, and am still at an impasse.

But, I'll get the buggers!

[zmflavius]

I'm playing Age of Kings

Random map... The Black Forest

Difficulty set to 'hard'

4 opponents teamed against me

I've wasted 3 of them

The fourth is proving very difficult

They have priests who convert my knights when I attack.

they have cannoneers who waste my archers when I move in to kill the priests.

They have camel cavalry that waste my knights when I move in to strike at the cannoneers

They have bombadiers that waste my seige engines.

They have 4 of the 5 available religious icons, which means they are accumulating gold on which they can build replacement armies.

They have peasants in abundance, even though my strategy has become one of hunting them down so they can't make more resources.

I attack, and attack, and attack... the theory being to whittle them down to a point where an eventual attack will tip the balance.

So far, it hasn't worked.

In the Black Forest, we all have a seemingly endless resource of wood, so they can convert it to gold to spawn more priests, camels and cannoneers.

I've been playing this scenario for two weeks, and am still at an impasse.

But, I'll get the buggers!

On hard, I'd die on one opponent. I might even die on two opponents in moderate. I just suck.

But wasting three on hard is amazing! Even maimin' matty only wasted two on hard!

[MrBlack]

Badstench, try using a siege ognar to cut through the forest and and surprise attack, or use a group of cavalry archer to kill the priest then flee.

Also do you have the Conquers Expansion?

[zmflavius]

Badstench, try using a siege ognar to cut through the forest and and surprise attack, or use a group of cavalry archer to kill the priest then flee.

Also do you have the Conquers Expansion?

Siege onagers would never work, you'd have to blast through vils and then alert them. And if he's expecting an attack like that, he might put towers near the forest, and you might blast apart trees in the LoS of their towers.

Cav archers would probably work. Mangudai are ideal, since they're the fastest units in the game.

[Badstench]

I got them...

I sent in a full army, and while they were keeping the enemy occupied, I built two castles close to their city.

before their seige engines could knock my castles down, I pulled in reinforcements. From there, it was just a matter of time.

but those priests suck!

smv1973... I have "conquest", but there's a glitch with it. When I downlod it, everything looks fine until I play, then I can't get directional movement from my mouse to the right or down.

I can go to a location by direct clicking, but I can't scroll to the right or down.

[zmflavius]

I got them...

I sent in a full army, and while they were keeping the enemy occupied, I built two castles close to their city.

before their seige engines could knock my castles down, I pulled in reinforcements. From there, it was just a matter of time.

but those priests suck!

smv1973... I have "conquest", but there's a glitch with it. When I downlod it, everything looks fine until I play, then I can't get directional movement from my mouse to the right or down.

I can go to a location by direct clicking, but I can't scroll to the right or down.

I think Mrblack asked you about conquerors actually.

[Badstench]

I've been playing Age of Kings... random map - drew coastal; difficulty hard; 3 opponents. I've played and replayed this scenario so many times with the same result... me dead and defeated. I know there's a key to winning this, and I think I'm getting it.

I will prevail.

three weeks I've been at the same scenario. I'm persistent or bloody minded or stupid. Time will tell.

[Lightwielder]

I do believe in the tactical brain-sharpening power of Real-Time Strategy games, such as AOE. You'll get it eventually. I am able to defeat several Hard enemies on Command & Conquer: Generals - Zero Hour, but it wasn't always that way. I was limited to playing Easy difficulty, could never seem to beat Medium for all I was worth. One time, I stayed up all night, immersed in a battle with my first Hard opponent. By 8:00 AM, I had conquered my foe, and I hadn't even defeated a Medium enemy first. It was just from Easy to Hard, I skipped ahead, and I've been able to defeat both Medium and Hard, and even multiple Hards ever since, with nearly any choice of General, simply due to the practice.

Uggh, 4:00 AM here. I REALLY need to get up from this chair and go to bed. Goodnight all.

[Badstench]

Thanks for the words of empathy, Lightwielder.

It has no bearing on my next subject... or maybe it does.

Steak and Eggs!

To quantify this next rant, I have to explain that I moved into a new condo recently. When I moved, I decided to take the minimum of possessions with me.

So... I moved with my oh-so-comfortable Italian leather sofa (and for the life of me, I don't know why Italian leather is any better than New Zealand leather... I think it's something to do with style) and my bed and my nano-tube TV.

And a purpose built shelf unit that holds my CD collection.... but that's it! I didn't have any utensils, plates, etc. If I wanted to eat, I would just walk out my door and down the road and there was a cafe or a restaurant or an array of take-away outlets.

On any given night I can eat internationally.... Middle Eastern, Oriental, Indian, Vegetarian, Lesbian, Martian, etc, etc.

But one thing I've been missing is a slab of meat with eggs on toast and some mushrooms or onion or both. I'm just a simple guy with simple tastes, and I've been craving a dose of steak & eggs!

Today was a good day.

[Young Ned]

On any given night I can eat internationally.... Middle Eastern, Oriental, Indian, Vegetarian, Lesbian, Martian, etc, etc.

Gee, San Francisco has a very wide variety of good restaurants, but I've never had either Lesbian or Martian cuisine. What are they like? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v735/Old_Ned/icon_cool.gif

[Doolipalally]

Gee, San Francisco has a very wide variety of good restaurants, but I've never had either Lesbian or Martian cuisine. What are they like? http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v735/Old_Ned/icon_cool.gif

*firmly squashes her impulse to answer that question*

[texlaw1992]

To paraphrase another of Dooli's posts, that's what I was thinking, but it sounds better coming from a female (lol).

Edit: Tastes like ... carpet? (lol)

[Badstench]

Actually, that was one of those frivolous remarks I wish I could take back... I didn't consider the double entendre at the time, and now it just seems a bit creepy.

Bad me :o

[scout1idf]

Edit: Tastes like ... carpet? (lol)

Don't mean to add fuel to the fire, but that was what I was thinking.....:p

[Lightwielder]

Don't mean to add fuel to the fire, but that was what I was thinking.....

How about we throw a bucket of baking soda, and just stop it in its tracks?

[Oldschool]

How 'bout this? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFBwViSU4nM&feature=related) ;)

[Scarbrow]

Remind me again... how did we ended talking about this? :eek: Oh, right, Badstench hijacked his own thread. It's all right then, I suppose. :D

Now for the nerd moment... I swear that when I read that sentence I thought about Greek food (after I got my mind out of the gutter, of course) . How many of you know why?

[texlaw1992]

Because the names in question originated in islands off the Greek coast.

I have a friend who at one time expressed an interest in living either on Lesbos or Crete. I asked, so does that make you a Cretin or a Lesbian? (lol)

[Young Ned]

I've seen "Lesbian cuisine" as a typo for "Lebanese cuisine", so that was actually what I thought of first.