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Zedalion
10-21-2009, 09:08 PM
“That’s him, I think.”

Kendrek looked up from the weeds he’d been pulling, dried streaks of dark blood criss-crossing his hands. Many of the weeds were bull thistles, and pulling them was not without its hazards. He peered down his nose with the full weight of wisdom his seven years on Sryth had granted him, glaring at his brother, who was younger by six full seasons.

“Where?”

Jaden, the younger one, pointed. The boys watched as a thin, not-terribly-tall figure strode around the cornfields and towards the little shack where the boys lived with their parents. It was a humble, thatched-roof affair, one that did very little to hold out either the cold or the rain, and even Kendrek, young as he was, had started to formulate a vague plan that involved running away, to Trithik, perhaps, or Talinus. Surely, he thought, in the city food would be more plentiful, or, at least, the winds less brutally cutting. One day, maybe. Kendrek liked to imagine he had the ability to forge his own fate. It was good to have choices.

“He doesn’t look like much, does he? I always thought Thordon was…umm. Taller. And less…uhh…shabby-looking.”

Indeed the man was not much to look at, he was wearing a ragged old grey cloak that was threadbare at the tips. As he walked and the cloak shifted side to side, it revealed an assortment of armor, none of which actually matched. He had swords slung on either side of his belt and some kind of stick strapped to his back, but his hands were empty and his unremarkable face was blank and distant, like he was thinking of something else. As the man drew closer, both boys noted that his boots were so scuffed and battered that they seemed in danger of falling off his feet at any moment. Jaden dropped his voice so that the approaching stranger wouldn’t hear.

“Dad said he couldn’t get Thordon. Too busy, working for one of the Thanes, or some such.”

Kendrek shook his head, thinking it was more likely their father couldn’t afford the legendary adventurer’s fee—or merely that he didn’t know how to find the man.

“So who is he? Is it Trent, or Elendil, or who?”

To the boys, adventurers were their heroes, and they dutifully memorized the names and deeds of each and every one when the bards sang of them in the village square. That was, when the boys’ chores were done and they were permitted to go.

“No, it’s somebody I never heard of. Zellion, or Ziffidon, or something.” The younger boy furrowed his eyebrows together as he tried to pronounce whatever the man’s odd name was, sounding like he had marbles in his mouth.

“Some mercenary from the bottom of the barrel, I guess. I thought dad was going to get a real adventurer”, Kendrek opined, his voice rising into a nasal, whining pitch.

As if on cue, the stranger suddenly tripped on a rock in the pathway and faceplanted directly into the dirt, his arms pinwheeling out for balance for only a moment before he collapsed with all the grace of a constipated banana slug. His fall created a sizeable puff of what the boys both knew to be arid, infertile soil.

Jaden and Kendrek shoved their hands over their mouths to stifle the laughter and ran to the back of the home. They didn’t want him to hear—after all, he might be incompetent, but he had swords, and they didn’t.

When the giggles died down and they began to hear the man, in a low, soft voice, reach the house and begin discussing with their father the terms of his employment, a thought suddenly occurred to the older boy and his face lit up like a bonfire.

“Hey, Jade…I bet next time we’ll be able to get a real hero!”

The younger boy looked up through his tangle of dark hair in the worshipful way boys look only at their seemingly-omniscient older brothers.

“How?”

Kendrick leaned in conspiratorally. “We just tell them that, plus whatever dad is paying, if they kill the tzaril they’ll find this guy’s body and get all of his equipment, too.”

The laughter of the two young boys burbled merrily through the small farm, easily piercing the walls of their home to where Zedalion, his cheeks still a bit red from his embarrassing fall, listened to tales of cattle depredations by tzaril and tried to look more interested than he actually was. In the end, he knew, he would take the job, whether the man could pay him or not. Zedalion, in all his clumsy glory, was not a man with choices.

As the light softened and wavered, the sun pressing down behind the hills to the west, the sounds of merriment attracted other attention, as well. Scales passed noiselessly over grass as slitted yellow eyes narrowed. One soundless wave of an arm brought the others, gliding gracefully out of hiding as they converged on the two unarmed primates, weighted nets rising and then thrown in a graceful, merciless arc.

Tiny humans were not so tasty as their cattle, Vr’ren supposed, but the hope was that they might fetch a higher price as slaves.

And if not, he mused, as swift blows rendered both boys unconscious before they even thought to cry out, they could still be eaten. They were smaller than the cattle, to be sure, but it was to be hoped they were more tender, as well.

Vr’ren’s stomach burbled slightly as he and his men slid back into the woods, the heavy nets clutched in their hands. Perhaps he’d eat one of them regardless.

It was always good to have choices.

wetheril
10-21-2009, 09:37 PM
Very good start on this so far. I definitely look forward to reading more. I like your reference to "famous adventurers," (and couldn't help but chuckle about the mismatched armour.) :D

thingirl
10-21-2009, 09:40 PM
It's interesting. I'm not really good at reviews.

Doolipalally
10-22-2009, 05:49 AM
Nicely done! I love it that you get the tzaril's viewpoint as well. Looking forward to more.

Young Ned
10-23-2009, 11:03 AM
Well done! The characters feel real and distinct, and I enjoyed the self-deprecating humor.

I also enjoyed how the tzaril had the same thought about choices as one of the young boys he'd just captured.

Looking forward to more. :cool:

Taleria
11-23-2009, 01:38 PM
I do hope this fic hasn't been abandoned. It has great potential. Characters are believable, and I'd love to see Zedalion grow into a legend in his own right.

Doolipalally
11-23-2009, 05:32 PM
Me too! Is there a next instalment, Zedalion?

thingirl
11-23-2009, 09:46 PM
I like this. Please more.

Zedalion
12-01-2009, 08:50 PM
The sun finished its usual downward slide without fanfare or applause, and the moon peeked its ghostly face above the hills, just as it did every night. For two parents that had misplaced their children, the mist that pooled around the trees seemed a ghastly, mocking thing, a serpent that had taken their sons into the woods and swallowed them whole, but in fact, it was merely water vapor, wreathing itself here and there as it had the night before, and as it would once again in the evening that followed.

For a time there were stars, but then a bank of clouds passed soundlessly over them, obliterating the dim cold light. Only a halo remained around the nearly full moon, a pale smudge in the blank black expanse that seemed out of place, like a spelling error in the sky.

The father paced. The mother wept. Both of them prayed silently for guidance from Srythak, but none received a particularly clear reply. Perhaps he had little to say, waiting on the final decisions from those who had the latitude to make them.

The disheveled mercenary had vanished into the trees hours ago, not stopping even to negotiate for more coin after realizing that the beasts had taken the boys. Perhaps, the father hoped fervently to himself, the man was something more than a sell-sword. His appearance—and clumsiness—aside, perhaps, against all odds, the luckless farmer had finally found himself a hero.

He would remember that thought later, and give a joyless bitter laugh.

----------------------------------------------------------

The mist had become a drizzle that progressed fully into a downpour by the time Jaden and Kendrek dragged themselves out of the trees, muddy and lost, but otherwise unharmed. Their faces were drawn with the terror of boys who had found the adventure they sought and realized it resembled their stories not at all. There were fangs in those woods, and hunger, and a terrible yawning indifference. If they had been eaten, Jaden thought dully to himself, the Gods would not have shed a tear. The sun would still have risen and the tzaril would have slept quite well. His life, and that of his brother, were fragile, far smaller than he ever would have imagined.
It was a precious thing, unique, far too valuable to gamble at the point of a blade in search of fleeting glory or even more fleeting gold.

Jaden saw the house first, and let out an involuntary whoop of joy. Kendrek shushed him, still wary of more serpents in the dark, but a moment later he broke cover and ran for it, dragging his little brother along in a staggered survivor’s gait. Their mother came to the door and hugged them both, one in each arm, lifting them and clutching them so tightly they thought she might crush the air from their lungs. Her tears were warm and smelled salty against their faces.

Behind her, his face towering over his wife’s shoulders like an angry sun, their father stared at them both with a grim expression. If he was pleased they’d returned, he didn’t show it. “Where is he?”, he barked, “that man I sent after you?”

Jaden and Kendrek shared a quick glance, one that spoke volumes, but only between them. Their mother finally released them and Kendrek bit his lip and looked down at his shoe. “They…he ran off. The tzarils dropped the net that held us. They were going to…to fight him, I guess, but he ran. The net fell on a rock when it dropped and it tore open. We got out, and we ran too. We don’t know where he is.”

The two boys watched their father’s face, tight with scarcely contained panic, slowly drop and harden into a searing rage. Jaden, the younger boy, felt his stomach drop a few inches as he considered what their father, who, when angered, was the household’s own resident monster, might do in such a state. Dimly, he became aware of the scent of root wine and sweat, struggling for dominance with the smells of rain and soil all around them.

“Ran off? Left you alone, in the wilds, surrounded by monsters and death? ” With a quick, angry gesture, their father swung his fist at the tall wooden chair that sat on the porch. It cracked down the center and then fell. Kendrek watched with fascinated interest as his father’s hand began, slowly, to bleed where the splinters had penetrated the skin. Everyone bled, he’d already known, but never fully understood until that moment. The world shifted a fraction of an inch. Droplets of dark red blood fell one after another onto their father's leg.

“Ran, with his tail between his legs, at the first sign of danger, after all his grand talk?” The boys’ mother cringed at the sound of the chair being toppled and her husband’s rising volume, then summoned her most soothing, placating tone of voice.

“Dear, it’s…it’s late, and the boys are safe, that’s all the matters. Let them get to sleep. There’s no sense in being angry now.”

No sense in taking it out on us, her frightened eyes seemed to add. Please. One arm protectively around each, she shooed the boys off towards the fireplace, where, in time, they might sleep. Behind them, they heard their father’s final dark pronouncement.

“Swords or no swords, if that coward shows his face around here again…”, he began, but his statement was finished by the sound of the chair shattering, its spine broken beneath their father’s thick soled-boot.

------------------------------------------------------------

Some time later, when the deep, labored sounds of breathing finally convinced the two brothers that their parents were fully and deeply asleep, Jaden wiggled close to his brother’s ear, so he could whisper in the usual, only slightly-louder-than-breathing tone they used in the late hours.

“Why’d he do it, do you think?”

Kendrek shook his head, moving his ear closer and then farther away. One hand came up to rub the spot on the side of his face where a huge lump had recently appeared, the result of being struck unconscious by the tzaril. No trace of the injury remained.

“I don’t know”, he finally responded, and rolled over, indicating that the conversation was over. His younger brother was not so easily dissuaded, and climbed up on his shoulder to ask another question.

“He must be crazy, right? Not right in the head, I mean.”

Staring into the corner, where the patchwork ceiling met the threadbare wall, Kendrek just shook his head again. He was thinking of the blade, the way it had flashed in the darkness, the blood of the tzaril, which had taken so long to wash off in the ice-cold rivers of Arrowbridge Creek. For the first time, he found himself in no hurry for his childhood to end. He reached up, without looking, and seized his brother by the hair, not painfully, but firmly.
“We can’t talk about this anymore”, he urged. “We promised.” Feeling a small nod beneath his hand, he loosened his grasp and his brother’s hair slipped away.

But privately, as the hours passed and sleep would not come, Kendrek thought his brother was right. You only behaved like that if you were truly crazy. Or, perhaps, if you had no choice.

But then, he found himself reflecting, just as the pale, wavering light of dawn turned the tide of the nightly war and pressed through the cracks in the door, banishing the shadows to the beneath and in-between places…

Didn’t it really come down to the same thing?

spencer
12-07-2009, 06:13 PM
Excellent, excellent, Zedalion. I thoroughly enjoyed reading both installments and liked the twist at the end very much.

wetheril
12-11-2009, 07:51 AM
Very interesting second installment. I really like the way you've shown how the boys' viewpoints were changed after the incident, from a simple gesture such as their father breaking a chair and bleeding from it.

It seems the boys aren't telling the truth, and now I'm really intrigued about what really happened, and what is yet to come! Nice job. :)

taproot97
12-11-2009, 12:11 PM
Bravo !

Young Ned
12-14-2009, 11:20 AM
Hmm, I thought I'd already commented on this installment. I too get the distinct impression that what the boys described is not at all what happened, so now I'm wondering what really did happen. (Hopefully you're planning to reveal that in a later installment...)

Well done, indeed. :D

thingirl
12-14-2009, 10:44 PM
Hmm, I thought I'd already commented on this installment. I too get the distinct impression that what the boys described is not at all what happened, so now I'm wondering what really did happen. (Hopefully you're planning to reveal that in a later installment...)

Well done, indeed. :D

ditto

Zedalion
08-10-2010, 09:02 PM
A quick afterword about this…

In addition to playing Sryth, I spend much of my free time playing video games made by the company BioWare, such as Knights of the Old Republic, Baldur’s Gate, and, recently, Dragon Age: Origins. Those games share with Sryth a devotion to telling a good story.

(Quick aside: If anyone is a BioWare games fan and would like to start a Sryth group when The Old Republic MMORPG comes out, I would be thrilled to be part of it)

Recently a company called Epic Weapons, which makes replica weapons from video games, held a short story contest where people could write short stories in the Dragon Age universe to win replica weapons or gift certificates. On a whim, I retooled the story “Choices” to take place in the world of Dragon Age and won in the “mystery” category. Sort of cool, I thought.

http://www.epicweapons.com/da-epictale.php

Thanks so much to all of you for your feedback!

spencer
08-11-2010, 02:51 PM
A quick afterword about this…

In addition to playing Sryth, I spend much of my free time playing video games made by the company BioWare, such as Knights of the Old Republic, Baldur’s Gate, and, recently, Dragon Age: Origins. Those games share with Sryth a devotion to telling a good story.

(Quick aside: If anyone is a BioWare games fan and would like to start a Sryth group when The Old Republic MMORPG comes out, I would be thrilled to be part of it)

Recently a company called Epic Weapons, which makes replica weapons from video games, held a short story contest where people could write short stories in the Dragon Age universe to win replica weapons or gift certificates. On a whim, I retooled the story “Choices” to take place in the world of Dragon Age and won in the “mystery” category. Sort of cool, I thought.

http://www.epicweapons.com/da-epictale.php

Thanks so much to all of you for your feedback!



Way cool, I think, congrats and repped!!